Hi everyone,
I'm sort of new to this forum. I don't usually write in these things but there's no one I can talk to and really be honest with. I'm a single mum to a 3 year old (nearly 4) and she is such hard work that it feels like I simply don't have the energy to be the mum I want to be or have the life I want to have.
She fights me on everything and whinges and wails at me all day. The minute I say no to her she screams. It's got to the point where I can feel myself doing anything I can to avoid hearing that noise or having to enter yet another battle with her. I know it's her age and I know that by giving in to her I'm creating a problem, not solving it. But I'm so tired.
I fight her on the things that I think are important because I want her to be a nice person, eat well, sleep well, stay healthy and happy but it leaves me exhausted and her constant battles make me feel defeated and worn out. I feel like a prisoner in my own home sometimes. I'm lonely and fed up and I comfort eat all the time. I bought a treadmill to lose weight and get more healthy but my daughter screams at me if I try and go on it.
She goes to nursery a couple of days and her dad's one day so I do get breaks and I wish I could do more on those days but I'm so tired that all i can do is use the day to recover mentally and physically. I also have bipolar disorder so the toll it takes on me mentally is more extreme. I have less ability to cope with the stress of her behaviour. I shouldn't feel as tired as I do and that's a symptom of my illness.
I do feel like my life is not my own though. I have nothing left to give after I've taken care of my daughter. I have nothing of my own. I have no social life that doesn't involve mothers and other children. I can't even do the exercise I want to do because i feel so worn out and because it just isn't worth the tantrum when I try to do it. Something as simple as bedtime makes me cry at the end of it. It's a nightly ordeal of one "no" after another as I try to put on her pajamas, clean her teeth, put her on the potty, get her into bed.
I hate the fact that I feel resentful and sometimes I wonder whether I should have had her. But she's here now and I have to find a way of creating a more balanced environment. It's not right that i feel so tense whenever my daughter is with me. It's not right that I don't feel in control in my own home or free to do the things I want to do, and at the mercy of a 3 year old.
Does it get easier? Am I going to feel this trapped forever? Does anyone have any similar experiences and can give me any advice?
Thanks!
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24 replies
daydreamer79 · 07/09/2014 20:12
OP posts:
Coolas ·
07/09/2014 22:30
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