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How and what to tell new school about DSs dad?

(7 Posts)

DS start school in Sept. Have had a lot of problems with DSs dad (ExH) since splitting 2 years ago. He frequently misses arranged contact with him and has on occasions turned up unannounced at his nursery to see him and caused a lot of upset when he was let in. ExH can be very unpredictable and unreliable depending on his mood and his life problems. Nursery know the situation now and won't allow entry to ExH even though he has parental responsibility.

Does anyone have any advice please about how to broach this subject with school. I need to keep DS safe and happy but find it very hard to describe what exactly the problem and am worried they will think I'm a drama queen or over protective mum before DS even starts there.

starlight1234 Fri 20-Jun-14 13:29:50

Arrange a meeting with Head teacher....

I had to do this when DS started school. You need to explain the risks. Legally he can take him if he has PR. DS's school do understand the risk and although legally can't stop him would delay him until I arrived.

School is far more formal though and don't just let them pop in..I forgot to give DS medicine in the morning the other day So I went to office..Office staff collected son to have medicine and then returned him to class.

You need to let them know if he is ever due to collect from school or it will always be you

Thanks starlight. I'm still v nervous of speaking to the head about this and explaining coherently. No DSs dad won't be collecting him as he can't be trusted to turn up. It won't always be me collecting DS though and I've just realised now that there's the after school club also to inform.

juneau Fri 20-Jun-14 14:00:09

Make an appointment with head. Write down what you want to convey in advance and take it with you, so you say everything you want.

You could also just write a letter to the head, if you find it easier to express yourself on paper, and offer to go in and discuss it further with them, if they need, at the bottom.

starlight1234 Fri 20-Jun-14 14:09:59

I felt exactly the same..There was real safety risks if Ex turned up ...I went through a whole list of things..she sat there with a clipboard and paper and wrote Risk with a big cloud around it.. When I had said all I had needed to say ..I said apart from that we are a really normal was really quite embarrassed ..She was lovely ..She said in her years working in the job there is no such thing as a normal family... She told me what the school could and couldn't do legally.. I was glad I did it, even though not pleasant...

She is the best person to talk to as this needs to be on file and not only class teacher but office staff too.

Thank you for your tips. I'll start by writing things down. I know I need to have this conversation but just wish I didn't.

Your post made me laugh starlight. Perhaps I'll add at the end that yes, I did have a child with a prize idiot!

Minime85 Sat 21-Jun-14 23:05:58

Usually on transfer to school someone from school goes out to nursery or Playschool providers and sees children in that setting which is a chance for staff to share any necessary info like that. So check if someone has been out from the school. But equally is go see head teacher too or his class teacher.

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