Complicated!, Would really appreciate a bit of advice(6 Posts)
I split up with my daughters father jan2011, we lived in this house till end of july 2011 together and during this time worked out when he left he wouldn't pay normal child maintainence, as my mortgage is very small and so he could afford a decent place for my daughter to have as a second home.
His rent was almost the same as my mortgage and the loan repayment I took out to give him half profit of house.
As I am self employed, the mortgage company would be unlikely to allow me to keep the house in my sole name, so his name is still on it, however he has received his 'half' of the property and if/when I was to sell, I take my share and anything over and above, we split.
He agreed, at the same time to pay half towards big essential jobs needed to be done on property, half towards our daughters clothes, school uniforms and school dinners.
To cut a long story short, he has never paid anything towards house, quickly stopped paying for clothes and now, more recently school dinners..in short, he now pays nothing!
He is a horrible person and would cause an argument in an empty room, he truly believes the benefits I receive are here to pay for my daughter , not him!, and I shouldn't expect anything from him...up to now, I have let him get away with it as to not cause conflict for my daughter.
However, his girlfriend is now planning on moving in with him, this almost happened last year and I spoke to him explaining our 'agreement' would change as he didn't pay maintainence due to him paying same as me for house...now he will/should be only paying half...he argued black and blue last time and she didn't move in, now it looks like its going ahead.
he will be aware it will come up again, but I want to know where I stand legally and get my facts straight before the subject is broached as I can only work with facts with him, he's not a reasonable person.
sorry, ive witterd on, just thought a bit of background was needed!, has anyone gone through similar or is anyone a solicitor who can advise me? thanks so much
Can't advise really, except to say that if you haven't got any of the "agreements" in writing, you can't prove any of them.
I think that you can get a half hour session of legal advice free.
Have you spoken to Womens' Aid? If not, I think that is where you should start.
Hi, thanks no we didn't get any of it in writing, which is obv why he has weedled his way out of it all now, I mistakenly trusted him to be a decent person.
I did speak to a solicitor about it at time though, she is a friend of the family, im going to make an appointment with her and ask her where I stand legally because regardless of any unwritten agreement, the fact is he hasn't paid anything towards my daughter for almost 3 years, so this lack of written, can also work against him too..if he wants to be even more of an arse over it..thanks for replying
He can remain on the mortgage but sign over the equity of the house still I would get sorted as soon as I made the mistake of not removing my ex from mortgage as same situation and after not living there and paying for 3 years - after which he came back and claimed his half because I moved on
I think I'd start by talking to the bank - if your mortgage is very small and you're managing it fine off your salary, then they may well be prepared to let you take it on on your own. Or would you have parents or anyone who could be a guarantor for it?
Legally you don't have anything agreed formally, so you can apply to the CSA for child support if you want. BUT you also don't legally own the house on your own. That's a problem that would be more easily solved with goodwill on his part and honouring the agreement he made that it would be yours. So you'd be best to try and sort that out first before upsetting him by applying for CSA I'd have thought.
There is a women's organisation called Rights of Women, run by solicitors and lawyers etc who run a free helpline, and also have lots of helpful facts etc on their website. I've attached the link. Hope it helps. Good luck, and try and stay strong
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