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Changing DS surname

(13 Posts)
MySonIsMyWorld Wed 03-Apr-13 16:37:22

I'm thinking of doing this - i dont actually need ex permission to do this, however if he finds out and wants it changed back he can go to the courts for it to be reversed if his reasons are valid then he may win but ex has been gone 2 months now (not the first time he has gone) after being very very violent towards me and he hasnt seen ds once..... i dont want ds having my ex's surname as why should he when his dad doesnt bother with him and ex is now taking drugs with his dad and i dont want any links with ex and ex's dad with my son..... have you changed your dcs surnames? what do you think?
I'm not doing it to be nasty to ex, im doing it because i think ex doesnt give a shit and he hasnt been around and i really want my lad to have my name.

lostdad Thu 04-Apr-13 13:53:34

If your ex has PR you do need his permission. You cannot just change his name.

You are contradicting yourself - if you don't need his permission why do you think he could take this to court to get it reversed?

Courts see name as an important link with the paternal family and changing it because `you don't want him to have it' won't wash as a reason.

LouiseSmith Tue 09-Apr-13 19:30:22

I think (don't quote me on this) If he has been absent for a period of five years or longer, you can change the surname to your own at the time.

I remember reading it somewhere, but that means no contact. No texts, emails, phone calls, meetings.


Poll32 Tue 09-Apr-13 22:42:53

I changed my son's surname without his father's permission. A deed poll certificate was issued, but found out today that it's not worth the paper it's printed out. The passport agency don't recognise it as his father has parental responsibility. Ha ha, that's a bit of a joke. He hasn't seen him for over a year and no maintenance is paid. I paid £50 for it to be changed yet a passport it would seem won't be issued in this new surname. Thankfully, mine is on the birth certificate, but I want the his father's to be removed. He could take you to court and have the decision reversed and the chances of the father winning are high. Have a go at changing it by all means and then you could use that name at school etc. I am still trying to find out more about the passport and if I can't get one in the new name, then I shall be writing to Deed Poll and asking for my money back.

er1507 Thu 11-Apr-13 22:41:50

Poll32 Is it not a real deed poll? It says on the passport gov website that you would need to send in the deed poll certificate for them to do it.

Op I think you are better off going to the courts as you do need exp permission to change it. the deed poll people won't entertain the idea unless you have it. Going to the courts will help and as he was abusive, you have a good case for it.

nurseneedshelp Thu 11-Apr-13 22:51:14

I'm going through similar at moment.

Have a look at the website. It states that in cases of DV you do not need the father's permission even if he has PR.

Not sure about the passport situation!
Need to check that myself before I go any further. Thanks pol32!

lostdad Thu 11-Apr-13 23:02:57

nurseneedshelp - that is not the case.

The only way you can change the names of children without the consent of all holders of PR is with a court order. You will need to convince the court that it is in the childrens' best interests to do so.

Meglet Fri 12-Apr-13 18:44:41

Changing surnames is a PITA.

XP has been gone for 4yrs now and I need to get the DC's surnames changed. The police were involved and I have crime references so there is no way I can contact XP and ask him as he wouldn't agree.
I wish the law had a bit more common sense when it came to totally absent parents. I want to get the dc's passports but certainly do not want their 'dads' surname on there!

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Apr-13 18:50:30

Meglet why do you 'need' to get the DCs surnames changed?

Meglet Fri 12-Apr-13 21:06:53

Because they will never have anything to do with their father. I really don't want them having the surname of a man who said he would kill us all. He made me give them his surname (screaming abuse before we went to the register office etc), I wanted to wait until we were married. Ever since then I've hated them not having the same surname, it makes me feel very vulnerable as they have that official link to him.

They don't look like me either so I want us all to have the same name on our passports. Not that we're likely to be going abroad for many year but it would stop any problems.

STIDW Fri 12-Apr-13 22:56:23

It's unlawful to change a child's surname without consent from all those with Parental Responsibility for the child or permission from the court.

IntheFrame Sat 13-Apr-13 07:59:18

it makes me feel very vulnerable as they have that official link to him.

Unfortunately they also share his DNA so they have a link to him whatever you do. A DNA test and court and you could be back to square one.

Would keeping his surname not serve a purpose though?
They have something of their father but a good reason for not having anything more to do with him. It's a reminder to them as to why you separated which is what happens if you behave like an evil t..t.

My son has my name from birth but as he has "nothing" of his father I worry that he will want to find him more.Also it is patiently obvious that I am a single parent. It basically says that your children have a father that doesn't give a monkey's and people do judge you and your children. I don't want to hinder my son's chances because of other peoples assumptions about us.

mama2moo Sun 14-Apr-13 20:30:37

I want my dd's surnames changed to mine but my ex wont allow it. My reason - I have been asked a dozen times this year if I am their mother. I do everything for them, he sees them twice a week. I want them to have my name not some sperm doners who doesnt give a shit most of the time.

Sorry for my rant but I am so angry that he wont agree.

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