parents evening

[katnissevergreen]

My DD doesn't want her dad to come to parent's evening, she sees him twice a week and he has always come with us in the past although we havnt been together for years. Their relationship has always been strained, should I respect her wishes and go without him?

[MrsSham]

How old is your dd? Personally I think you should, but I think you should also tell him this and if he chooses to make an apointment for him self that's his call and you dd will need to either accept that or negotiate this with him.

However my dd has parents evening and I have not even mentioned it to exp to be honest as I'm not keen on him coming and nor is dd. he has been to only 1 before and he never asks or shows an interest.

[katnissevergreen]

She's 13 sorry should have put that.

[purpleroses]

Why doesn't she want him to go?

Will he disgrace himself and embarrass her? If not, then I'd say she's no business telling him he can't attend, any more than she has telling you not to.

At secondary school, it's not as simple as suggesting that he makes a separate appointment for himself (like you can at primary). Parent's evenings are fixed days and the way it works at my DS's school is that you tour round all the teachers, who are all very pushed for time as many of them will have 60 or more families to see. They're not going to want him trying to make separate appointments - and at my DS's school they rely in the kids to make the appointments, so your DD would not want to be me making two with every teacher (and nor would they want that).

I'd talk to her about why she doesn't want him to come, but if he wants to come, it's his right to do so really. Your DD doesn't have to come along if she'd rather not but parents are the ones with the first rights over parents evenings surely.