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gone beyond end of tether

(5 Posts)
aokay Wed 17-Oct-12 18:14:26

house a slum and unsafe - ex happily rehoused - no financial support despite ex being well off, employed and large investments; all my money now gone to soliitor £20k down, didnt get residence I wanted, ex got what he wanted, still have no finacial support - ex telling everyone from our kids to total strangers I'm ....basically unfit to care for a pot plant - state of house has me weeping - we're all cold, no heatingn very little food in fridge and no money in bank - our ancient tv has just given up ghost and it feels like insult to injury!. Seriously want to not wake up sometime very soon so it all goes away....

ladydeedy Wed 17-Oct-12 19:35:25

Where are the children living? with your ex or with you? If with you and your ex is employed, you can claim for child maintenane via the CSA. Plus you would get child benefit of course. Do you have any other agreement in place regarding finances?
What are you pursuing via solicitor?

aokay Wed 17-Oct-12 21:08:19

we have shared care now, I used to have care - still mystified how I lost it when no one suggested any bad parenting on my part- csa useless, solicitor apparently useless, keeps saying no one can make him pay - our house is half renovated, not really inhabitable and despite lots of waffle I'm still waiting for any offer of a settlement. To top it off, any contact with him makes me so furious and frustrated I can't think straight - hes patronising, controlling and vindictive - has all the cards, money, support, barristers galore and I feel steamrollered - just exhausted by it now - sound very pathetic which Im not really but enough feels like enough - where does someone go for support? - GP suggested counselling at 40quid a pop - thats my weekly food allowance now! citizens advice totally cocked up benefit advice, csa taking the michael - onus is on me to prove his income, property ownership, investments etc like I have access to his private documenmts - they won't use his tax returns - just bizarre - wont let me submit his evidence to court as its 'third party' - he has declared most of his stuff and they say its third party! - would be ok if housing situation less grim - most of house has no electricity...I'm ashamed my kids live in what I would call squalor through no fault of mine - house is clean and tidy but cold, damp, dark and depressing.

Happylander Thu 18-Oct-12 16:50:56

have you spoke to gingerbread and women's aid organisations, are you or your ex ex armed forces then you could access SSAFA.

I always thought it was up to CSA to look into his income??? Do you get any CSA from him?

It seems like you wasted a lot of money fighting to stop shared care as unless he is an unfit parent there would be no reason why they not give you both shared care if he wants it.

Katkin13 Sat 20-Oct-12 21:11:19

So sorry to that! I haven't followed your case but what happened? Was there a final hearing? What was ordered? I know that being in this situation is a living nightmare and it's our job to make sure that you don't fall down along the way.
If there is a final hearing looming then I am sure it's not too late to change tactic. £20k is a lot of money to be paying a solicitor? Have you thought of representing yourself?

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