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If this was you,how would you deal with this?

(14 Posts)
legohouse Mon 15-Oct-12 17:40:21

ex spreading lies about you...i feel i can't go out in my own town,look people in the eye...

MakeItALarge Mon 15-Oct-12 18:52:05

Hold your head up high and ignore ignore ignore....

Anyone who is stupid enough to believe one side of the story isnt worth bothering with, and usually people who tell lies constantly tend to trip themselves up! How bad are the lies, you could always threaten legal action if it gets very nasty or scary.

legohouse Mon 15-Oct-12 19:26:54

he befriends everyone i associate with,bends over backwards to make it look like he is a wonderful person,then writes things about me on social network sites that are untrue...i am trying to get on with my life,bring up the children the best i can,i have little to do with him,handovers i keep business like but amicable in front of children.

I do ignore but i am concious that people have based their opinions about me by what he is saying/making up.

FannyBazaar Mon 15-Oct-12 21:34:44

Yes, ignore. Good friends will see he is bad mouthing you and realise that you not retaliating shows you are the bigger person.

My ex told everyone that would listen that I cheated him out of vast sums of money when I bought him out on the house. He has no evidence to back up these claims and did not speak to anyone until after he had his money, he even refused to consult a solicitor to ensure he got a fair deal. His friends and family have dropped me like a hot potato but there are one or two who are still in contact.

daffydowndilly Mon 15-Oct-12 22:35:56

I am wondering whether if the things he is writing are really bad and untrue, you could talk to a solicitor about whether it is slander and whether anything can be done about it? Particularly if he is so stupid as to post somewhere public. It must be possible to stop lies being spread about, or maybe I am being naive. Even a letter phrased carefully from a legal person might scare him.

Keep screenshots of all the Facebook/Twitter posts and bring them to a solicitor.

legohouse Tue 16-Oct-12 11:13:23

yes,i have taken screenshots.

makemineapinot Tue 16-Oct-12 13:15:24

yes def keep screenshots - I printed out pages and pages of FB stuff and it was used in court against my ex. Keep a diary of everything too - it's amazing how much that helps. Good luck - it's ahrd but you will get through it. My ex soon exposed himself as being a liar - 2 judges told him he was close to being done for perjury! And like people above said, most people soon realise who's telling the truth. He'll trip himself up one day. Just stay calm and if anyone says anything to you just smile and tell them not to believe everything they read and that you would never hurt your children by badmouthing and making up lies about their father. That gets people thinking! x

chubbleigh Tue 16-Oct-12 14:08:49

Ignore, keep record of the worst stuff but otherwise get on with your life, be a good mum, be happy, that's your best pay back. I think in the end people get sick of listening to someone bitch and moan about an ex, it gets old. Don't get sucked in, it's just increasing desperate power games intended to put you on the back foot. You know this so deal with it (as Makemineapinot suggests). Maintain your integrity, your children will recognise you as the trustworthy parent, so will everyone else who matters over time.

ParsleyTheLioness Tue 16-Oct-12 14:28:16

You have my sympathies. I was married almost 20 yrs, and all the in-laws have cut me off...despite the fact that they have to go through me to speak to dd, their grandaughter, or niece...Very dissapointing, but ex did it to 'justify' why he was online dating. It's hard to not let it bother you, but others have given good advice.

legohouse Wed 17-Oct-12 10:32:41

Thank you for all the good advice.

makeminearose Wed 17-Oct-12 17:33:04

Hold your head high and keep a dignified silence... been there got the t shirt those who matter know you and know the truth and keeping records as previous posts have said if ever needed :-) its hard sometimes but you have some great support on here alone x hope all goes well for you x

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 18-Oct-12 06:27:33

I just see it that some people cannot see beyong the superficial charm. My STBXH liked to make out he was lovely, and I was a witch. In reality he was abusive. But the people who matter to me know the truth, and his family have a vested interest in remaining in denial about dv etc. Tis hard though, at the time.

lostdad Thu 18-Oct-12 12:46:04

It can be soul destroying. After she abducted our son from the FHM my ex made false allegations about me and my family.

After over 5 years she continues to hide from me at handovers (with our son now saying things like `Mummy mustn't be seen by Daddy') when he's at school - instead I am regarded as a wife-beating child abuser by her new bloke's workmates.

The strange thing is that even though she continues to play the victim she refused to mention any of the allegations she made in court. She's also more than happy for our son to spend time with me despite my `abusive and controlling nature' and we're now at the stage where he wants to stay with me more and cries when he goes back to his mum's.

Very sad and very unnecessary, the whole lot of it. Life is too short and kids are too precious.

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