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Well done guys!!

(21 Posts)
er1507 Sun 07-Oct-12 21:21:37

i have so much admiration for all you loan parents, that bring up your dcs/cook/clean/work/study/and basically do everything!!

I'm a newly single mum to a 14mo dd and I really don't know how people do it! My dm brought me an db1 up by herself and now iv had dd I don't know how she coped!

My house in constantly a shit tip, I can not for the life of me keep up with the washing/dishes, I'm always forgetting/losing/misplacing something somewhere, no matter how organised I try and be on the days I work I can guarantee I will never be on time or work! and most of the time dd is dropped off in her pjs! I

Is there a secret I haven't been told?? How do you cope?

colditz Sun 07-Oct-12 21:23:33

We keep lipgloss in our handbags, blame the traffic for all lateness, declare our children to be "Very independant spirits" when we drag them out in their pyjamas, and never, EVER invite a none lone parent back to our house! grin

BollocksToKarma Mon 08-Oct-12 09:44:34

Blame traffic/public transport
Lunches and clothes done and out the night before
ALWAYS have milk, bread, calpol, loo rolls, savlon and plasters in the house
try to meal plan
stop stressing
train the kids to clear their rooms and make a cup of tea
Take all money out of the bank, keep in what is needed to cover bills for that month, the rest needs to split up into weeks and then days. This is your budget, you wont need to spend it all every day. You will find yourself saving up quite a bit quite quickly. Leave the bank card in the house.
1 night a week, when they are in bed, have a long hot soak then go straight to bed.
Dont sweat the small stuff

Breathe.

cestlavielife Mon 08-Oct-12 11:07:42

were you disorganised when you were with your partner? did he help keep you ontrack?
because you can do it you know - write notes, get organised .

and you aint seen my flat ... but prioritise and get stuff ready nite before.
you could put baby to bed in next days clothes, there; problem solved... if she has bath in evening then puts on fresh tights and top or leggings and top and wears same leggings and top from evening bedtime thru to next evening no one will know...

Camelsshouldnteatcrisps Mon 08-Oct-12 19:26:48

I take every short cut going: I don't iron, I don't mash potatoes (I buy ready made tubs from ocardo) and Friday night is pizza/ready meal night. I have shopping delivered, going to the supermarket takes time that I could be doing something else.

I did everything I could to get a dishwasher too, that was life changing, the kitchen can be cleaned down in 5 minuets and I have my evenings back.

Wardrobes get filled with a weeks worth of clothes on a Sunday evening (or a Friday afternoon if I am really on fire!) so that I just grab stuff in the morning. I only bath (the DC's) every other day and never bath on a night when I am doing a big proper meal. I batch cook 5 litres at a time in the slow cooker and freeze a months worth of meals.

The sooner they dress themselves the better, girls are often quicker at that apparently, but you might need to put up with some bazaar outfits at times, its worth it though because they love doing things for themselves.

The mornings are slightly hectic but one tip I got from MN was to dress them as soon as they get up, they haven't woken up as much then and are easier to get into their clothes! Plus it's one big job off your mind early on in the morning.

I am also pretty ruthless at de-cluttering too, nothing gets kept that we don't/won't need, that way I have less to clear up.

...and remember to look on the 'good things about being a LP' thread from time to time.

BollocksToKarma Mon 08-Oct-12 19:32:43

I second online shopping. If you know you are going to be in all day doing housework, you can get it delivered cheaper using a 6 hour slot instead of a 2 hour one.

er1507 Mon 08-Oct-12 20:36:25

I'm liking the money tip a lot bollocks will defo be doing this next payday!

I've never been really been too unorganised but since dd come along its like all hells broke lose. I'm very ruthless when it comes to decluttering it's actually removing it from the house that's my problem (hmm)
I alway batch cook and freeze when I can as I find it easier at meal times for dd.

The biggest thing I get wrong is the bloody washing! Even though there's only two o us it's endless! I am def going to invest in a tumble dryer this winter as the rads just ain't doing it quick enough and then I find I'm dumping all clean clothes on kitchen table. they just take sooooo long to put away! I point blank refuse to iron unless its reaaaalllyy needed and most of the time i'll just change outfits if it does (grin)

dd likes to "help" me a lot!! she's always trying to help me with washing pulls clothes aired/rads/machine and organises them drags them on the floor and tries to clean with them

Aaahhh hopefully I'll get the knack of it one day (hmm)

Lonecatwithkitten Mon 08-Oct-12 20:44:22

Regard everyday they leave the house with knickers on a success and don't sweat about the rest of the outfit.
On a more serious note my organised mum pocket diary is my saviour it allows me to carry my menu plan, to do list, shopping list and diary all in one. I write lists for everything helps to remind of the jobs and tremendous satisfaction in ticking things off.

BollocksToKarma Mon 08-Oct-12 20:46:39

...I started it when the banks crashed and I couldn't get my money out and nothing was going in for a few days...money now under the mattress so to speak.

OP the washing is the easiest bit...wash at night, take it out in the morning, hang up on airer while you are out for the day. When you get back if some of it's still wet, shove in the dryer for an hour....if you have the heating on..shove it on the rads instead and save money. Iron at the weekend in front of the corrie omnibus. If you are really good, take the damp stuff that doesnt need ironing afterwards and hang it on the rads upstairs. Saves a trip.

NEVER go upstairs without something in your hand that needs to up there as well....Ditto going back down the stairs. Needs a little forethought, but you'll get used to it.

Do it day by day if you can at first, ie, kids rooms one day, yours and the bathroom the next, living room & kitchen on other days....soon you will be organised to do a floor on alternate days with the bathroom done everyday.

avenueone Mon 08-Oct-12 20:58:52

lol @cestlavielife - I do that with own clothes too grin the thought of a man in the house fills me with dread at how disorganised and restricting it would be them... umm may have been on my own too long.

ScaryBOOAlot Mon 08-Oct-12 21:12:49

Chill the hell out is the first thing wink

Don't expect yourself to be superwoman.

Focus on making sure your DD is happy, bugger the housework.

Have some "emergency" meals in the cupboard - tins of spaghetti or whatever.

Always have bread, milk, toilet roll, dried pasta, spread cheese and wine in the house.

PJs never killed anyone.

Get out of the house and see other people so you don't drive each other crazy.

rosabud Mon 08-Oct-12 23:06:06

Are they still alive at the end of the day?

Well done - have a glass of wine smile

legohouse Tue 09-Oct-12 14:59:34

I love this thread...cheered me right up and made me see things differently smile

3xcookedchips Tue 09-Oct-12 15:08:59

Buy a slow cooker...

Viviennemary Tue 09-Oct-12 15:15:43

I've a couple of friends who say they couldn't go back to having a man in the house again to run after and pander to. I'm not a lone parent but I think I would miss having somebody to blame for things and to yell at when I'm annoyed.

FeelingOld Tue 09-Oct-12 16:07:38

I definitely agree about online shopping, its a must for me.
Re washing, take it straight out of the machine as soon as it finishes and hang out or on hangers to dry, much less ironing that way.
Batch cooking also great, cook big meals on your less busy days and freeze the extras for when you are too busy to cook. Also do lots of one pot/slow cooker meals, less washing up that way.

ThreeEdgedSword Tue 09-Oct-12 19:15:02

Suck up any pride and enlist the help of any and all friends and family who are willing. Many of my childless friends (am only 22, most haven't got around to it yet!) are quite willing to babysit, change a nappy, do a spot of washing up, hang out my washing etc when they come over. My grandmother seems to have a compulsive need to tidy my living room whenever she comes over, I'll nip out and come back to find washing up stacked by the sink and all the rubbish in the bin grin It feels horrible to ask, but something like "would you mind washing up while I hang the washing/feed the baby/unload the shopping?" will normally be agreed to.

Don't feel like you have to be perfect. "Ignore the mess" is perfectly acceptable to visitors when you're a lone parent with young DCs.

Never feel like a failure. You are not getting it wrong. You are a wonderful mum who is doing everything brilliantly. Say it to yourself in the mirror every day. (Also helps when standing up to snotty people who criticise).

Idle parenting, the way forward for lone parents grin idler.co.uk/idleparent/
I did pinch this from another thread, but I felt it was appropriate.

Every night when DCs are in bed, do something just for you. Enjoy the freedom of being able to watch whatever you want on TV. Have a glass of wine. Do whatever makes you happy. Happy parent = happy child.

Meglet Tue 09-Oct-12 19:20:30

colditz oh yes! Some low level grooming hides a multitude of stress and tiredness. I've started doing my nails before the working week. Me exhausted, never... I have shiny nails and smart clothes <<necks tea and chocolate at desk>>.

Organise things like you're going into war but keep your expectations low.

If you're all fed, warm and presentable then it's ok.

And take vitamins.

SuePurblybilt Tue 09-Oct-12 19:26:44

I too hoard money. I recently found £60 of out of date £20 notes - I'm hoping the banks swap 'em! I always keep some in the house - usually in a tin in the fridge. Which is only slightly bonkers, I feel.

It never ends, tbh, and I only have one but we manage. Batch cooking - YY - even if it's just soup or pasta sauce. Pizza night once a week. And I also live by the 'never leave a room empty handed' mantra.

BollocksToKarma Tue 09-Oct-12 19:42:05

Think of at least 3 meals to make with one joint of meat before buying it, stick to it and make them ASAP and freeze. If you can't, buy something else.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 09-Oct-12 20:00:30

My DS is also 14 months. I've been on my own since he was 4 months and am still winging it smile We get by but some days are better than others!

I keep a small make-up bag in my bag, just tinted moisturiser, mascara, blusher and lip-gloss. I'm sure it doesn't help but it makes me feel more confident IYSWIM.

On working days I get everything ready the night before, including all clothes, meals, snacks, changing bag etc. Forget morning showering, I do it as soon as DS is in bed.

I keep the washing basket in the bathroom so when I finish my shower I bring it down and load the machine, I then put it on the timer so I can put it out when I get up.

I have a dishwasher which is a life-saver tbh, do whatever you can to get one, totally worth it.

I'm very minimalist in general so mess isn't a big issue but for the baby's things you need baskets baskets baskets! I don't give a crap who thinks they're naff. I've got one massive trunk type on for big toys and 2 of the storage unit type things for smaller toys and books.

Like this Just scoop into a basket and it's all tidy in approx 5 seconds!

Oh, and have a good old moan on here when it all gets too much wink

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