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his dad was a sex offender-how do I even approach it

(5 Posts)
sarahjstanley Thu 15-Sep-11 11:42:21

at some point my son (7) is going to find out his dad was a sex offender. it's hard for an ADULT to understand let alone a young boy. It will come up because his dad is religious and will try to teach him about sex in a very different way than I think is right. Also if he ever googles his dad's name, there are full articles on it. Also his dad is known in the oil industry for his offense and it could easily come from another kid at school which I dread. My solicitor says I might need to seek professional help to equip my son with attitudes to deal with it. Anybody had to deal with telling their child something similar? Any advice is appreciated smile thanks
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notsorted Thu 15-Sep-11 12:18:41

Hi don't have any personal experience but didn't want your post to go answered.
It does sound a lot for him and you to deal with. Does you solicitor suggest anyone? While he is young, could you find a support group or some way of talking through it professionally yourself alone. It would equip you to deal with any questions he asks and would also signpost you to organisations that could help him as he becomes aware. I don't know if it might be worth talking to social services initially or if you feel able to find out which teacher at his school deals with welfare issues - there will be someone - and you can see how much you want to explain to them.

cestlavielife Thu 15-Sep-11 14:30:35

ask gp for referral to a family therpaist so you can talk to them about how to broach it.

how will his dad be telling him>?
does he see him unsupervised?

sarahjstanley Thu 15-Sep-11 21:22:12

thanks guys for the advice. I would like to know where to go to get some support so I can equip my son with the right tools to deal with it healthily. Maybe going to the gp will be best actually-so thanks for that advice. I could ask his school teacher too, think that might be a good idea? I always feel guilty for even staying with a guy who was an offender for so long after (a few years) but I didn't know what to do.
Hi dad sees him every second weekend and some holiday time. He doesn't in the slightest appreciate that I don't trust him and just says it's in the past.
His dad will be telling him that it was a one off stupid act (which I know and perhaps me only, that it WASN'T) and that 'god' has made him a new man.
He has recently over reacted very badly about my son wearing nail varnish (I have NO idea why but he likes to paint his nails-I figure it's not harming a soul and is creative so why not) and won't tell me why he disagrees and also my son wants to change his surname and he has taken that terribly.

mamas12 Mon 19-Sep-11 10:23:15

You and your son really need some professional support now.
Go to your gp and ask for specialist support for your son and then ask for some counselling for yourself.
Is a convicted sex offender really allowed access to a child? Your child?
Don't know the circs, but I hope it's supervised at least , don't tell me it;s overnight.

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