Single Dad & renting(3 Posts)
I'm a single Dad, 30 years old & I currently live with my parents, moving abck in after we realised we were pregnant. My ex also lives with folks & that side of things is going fine at the mo. I obviously have my own bedroom & at the mo will have my 7 week old daughter in her moses basket on a roughly every other weekend routine.
Obviously that's a short term ideal as she'll be in her cot soon. Whilst there is another spare room (boxroom) which could accomodate a cot it would mean asking my parents to take over that room too. Whilst they'd be OK with it the situation highlights that it's not MY home.
Reason for the post I guess is that how did YOU deal with thsi scenario. I highly doubt I could afford a TWO bedroom place of my own. I really don't know what to even begin looking for but am well aware that it will easily cause issues in the reasonably near future.
I rent a two bedroom house which my daughter who's almost three comes to stay in every other weekend. I of course give my XP child maintenance plus a bit more.
I earn £50k pa and to be honest it's a struggle to make ends meet. I'm paying for a second bedroom that is occupied for 4 -6 nights a month. It's tough but I wanted my daughter to have her own room.
If I were you, and you're fine staying with your parents in the short / medium term I'd stick with that for the time being. I'd guess they're loving having their grandchild there, and I'd guess you appreciate the support.
If you really feel you need to find a place of your own, it's not that unusual to have your child sleep in the same room, there is no shame in it. As long as your daughter is loved and feels secure in your home, has her own toys about the home I don't see it as a problem. Plenty of people co-sleep with their children for years.
When you say it'll cause issues, do you mean with your parents or your ex ?
SIDS advice is for babies to share room with parents until they are 1, so you don't need an extra room for a bit (this also counts under council housing criteria- my friend was told when she was living in a bedsit that she and her son didn't qualify as overcrowded until he was 1!) What other people I know who've had kids living with them full time have done is rented a 1-bed and had the sitting room as their bedroom (with a sofabed), and the child in the actual bedroom. When I could only afford a 1-bed flat, my daughter just shared the bedroom with me. You have to consider that in a lot of the world, everyone sleeps in the same room! I can see there would maybe be social issues with kids sleeping with an opposite-sex parent over say 6 or 7 yo, but you really don't have to think about that for quite a while!
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