Pulling my hair out, it's just too much to deal with on my own!

[StellaBrillante]

Sorry, I just really (desperatly) need to let off steam!
2010 came to an end and I was feeling really positive about my plans for 2011. However, the more I think about it, the more I panic that I won't be able to cope with it all and I am afraid that I'm not thinking clearly enough.
The list:

1. move houses to be nearer ds' school and uni. Can't sell own house due to negative equity so plan to do nothing, walk away from it and let XP sort it out for once - when we broke up I arranged letting agents visits, I did everything and although he was at home (supposedely looking for work following redundancy), he didn't lift a finger. Well, he was like that the whole time we were together, always needing a good 'nudge' to get him going so I think now I will just leave it to him and if he doesn't sort it out, it'll be his credit history ruined too. I simply cannot move to another county, with everything I've got on and no help, and still have to see to the house when it's both our responsibilities
   
2. reduce working hours from full time to ca. 40% from August
   
3. start uni in september, studying full-time
   
4. find weekend work to top up income - had my first job interview outside my company in 10 years the other day and it went very badly indeed; starting position, very basic, and i still managed to not fully answer questions... head in the clouds?!?! I REALLY wanted the job as company in line with what I am going to be studying and very good environment
   
5. complete work qualification even though not relevant to my role at all... either that or will have to repay the full amount back to company
   

Right, deep breaths...!

[atswimtwolengths]

Can you rent the house, Stella? I really wouldn't recommend walking away from the house, because you will never get another mortgage, if you do.

Do you have to move to another county? Is that to do with going to university?

[MummieHunnie]

I agree, rent your old out house, and rent a new house, one day it may grow in value enough to be able to sell and not be in negative equity.

How exciting finding somewhere new to live, how is that going?

[Simbacatlives]

If you walk away and it is repossessed you will still be liable for the difference between the price that the bank sell it at and the mortgage.

[StellaBrillante]

thank you for your replies! Sorry, by 'walking away' I meant to let the house out but it'll be down to xp to sort it all out and find a tenant. We do need to move though as on top of daily travel from & to school, I've been driving over to the school a lot more often than I had anticipated due to ds' rugby and all sorts of things. The daily coach is £170 per month (there is no direct public bus and my work is in the opposite direction), plus at least 2-3 x 60 miles roundtrip a week so it's all costing me a fortune.
Uni is near ds' new school too and we'd barely need to use the car at all. I could even consider 'downsizing' car again although the next step down from our little Aygo would probably be a Smart car! ;-) Older car = lower value / equity to help with house move; existing car = £25 yearly road tax, cheap insurance, bought from dealer with very low mileage and 1 owner.
The work qualification, I think I will just have to bite the bullet and do it (and pay £180 to re-sit the exam - pooh!).
The change from full-time to part-time is probably what is scaring me the most. I've always worked full-time and I've always been able to work my way up somehow, increase my income and keep us afloat. I do feel that I will have a lot less control once I go part-time, especially in the current job market. It's even crossed my mind that I should postpone doing my degree or just forget about it altogether and be grateful for the income that I have now. But then it takes me back to where I was before (where I am now!), questioning my priorities and whether the money I earn is more significant than doing something that will bring long-term fulfilment (as opposed to existing misery at work)... I simply don't feel that having Sky or other luxuries justifies the absolute misery that I feel when I go into work every day...