Struggling with home schooling

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

Is anyone else struggling?

My dad's school has basically sent home the whole curriculum, more work than we can possibly do and we're really struggling with it, they expect us to email the work in every week so they can keep tabs on what we're doing and I've had a few emails passive aggressively saying I'm not doing good enough.

I'm severely dyslexic and having a hard time teaching dd7 as the layout and methods they use are so difficult to understand, I find myself googling and researching most nights and it's becoming so stressful.

We have an up and down relationship, we are so alike we constantly clash and within minutes of us starting we're arguing, I've tried so many different ways of teaching her and tried to deal with my own patience telling myself to calm down because this is important but her attitude towards it all and me is awful. It's taking all day to do one piece of work so we're so behind with it all and I worry about the effect it will have on her education level when she eventually goes back to school.

I myself am juggling my own coursework, having to stay up until 3am to do my own work all the while trying to keep on top of housework and cooking and caring for ds 9 months, her DF is working so he's no help.

I've tried emailing the teacher but she just blamed it on me structuring it wrong and it's not impossible so I should just get on with it.

I've tried games, making it fun, rewards, taking a break to calm down and refresh our minds and attitudes, being stern but so far nothing is working.

Sorry for the long post but does anyone have any advice? I'm having to consider quitting my course because of it, something I don't want to do as I'm already a year behind where I wanted to be due to health issues and it took me a year to save up the money which I would lose and have no hope of saving up again to redo the course.

What do I do? I've tried sitting down and finding out where the issues are, how she's feeling, why her behavior suddenly turns but got nothing, she's headstrong at the best of times but this is next level. I'm trying not to make it a 'thing' as I know the more I make out it's important the more stressed she gets and the worse it gets but I'm at the end of my rope with no support from the school.

[Sauron]

I’m so sorry you’ve been left so stressed. I have a dd who has Sen and is a mainstream school. The work they’ve sent home isn’t right for her so we spoke to the senco who was useless. I understand everyone is stressed but your teacher doesn’t sound very understanding.

I would concentrate on English, Maths and reading. We’re focusing on core subjects. Like my mum told me when I was beating myself up (I also have an 11 year old and 7 year old at home and the 7 year old has complex Sen plus I’m working) that any learning is good learning.

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

Thank you, if I'm honest I was expecting everyone to say I'm just doing it all wrong and to stop whining but I'm glad someone understands, my friends son has SN and she said senco was rubbish too, I get these are difficult times but feels like we parents have been given our teaching degree overnight and expected to know what we're doing.

I hate her school they are absolutely awful and I personally would have sent her to a different school but DH was adamant as 4 generations of his family have gone to that school so she had to

I like that, any learning is good learning, thank you that's made me feel a bit better.

We've completely given up on RE, geography and science but the amount they expect them to do for literacy, maths, reading, spelling and phonics is awful and what they send online is all on stupid coloured backgrounds and spaced out so it goes on for pages and pages so I can't just print it out as I can't afford the ink but it takes so long to write it out in her books, I've mentioned this and got the response it's just a bit of colour, maybe you should have a look at your finances if you can't afford the ink. Genuinely want to slap this woman whilst shouting if I slap you 24 times, how many more times do I have to slap you until you pass out!?! (obviously I wouldn't but this is where my dreams are taking me atm )

[SansaSnark]

This doesn't sound great. I'm a secondary school teacher, so obviously it's a bit different but we've been explicitly told not to set work that needs printing as lots of families have no access to a printer.

Normally, I wouldn't suggest this, but it might be worth an email to the head or deputy head explaining:

-You are struggling with structuring the work
-You aren't able to print the work (don't get into why, just say this isn't possible).
-You're finding time management very difficult as you have a young baby at home and you also have your own work to do.

See what they come back to you with!

I'd focus on anything that your DD can have a go at independently or semi-independently (i.e. you set her up, and she does the work with relatively minimal input from you). Anything that can't be done this way, for now, I'd suggest ignoring. Don't worry about what subject it is, just choose the easiest bits.

Alongside that, I'd do some reading and maths each day- this doesn't have to be what the school is setting.

Hopefully that will be more manageable, keep her skills up and mean less clashes for you?

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

Our secondary school have been fab. They reviewed the workload after a couple of weeks and reduced the amount they were expecting the kids to do as they were concerned that with everything going on it was becoming too stressful for kids to continue with a similar amount to that in the school environment.

And your Dh is a dickhead. The child goes to the school that is most suitable for their needs, not their parents. You can tell him I said that. What a colossal idiot.

[cathcath2]

The government does not expect you to be as good as a teacher - there would be no need for schools otherwise! As long as your daughter is happy and safe, that is all that really matters.

www.gov.uk/guidance/help-primary-school-children-continue-their-education-during-coronavirus-covid-19

Please do not give up your own studies. Ring or email school and ask for an urgent callback as you are not coping with home learning due to other responsibilities, not being able to print resources properly and your own dyslexia.

If you need any help, please PM me.

[1AngelicFruitCake]

I’m primary and this isn’t on from the school. I would get in touch again with the teacher asking for advice and then contact the headteacher if no help is given (even forwarding your messages!)
The fact you’re trying is great. Tell your daughter you’re going to ask her to do less but do it really well.

[Sauron]

You’re doing the absolute best you can. Especially as you’re dyslexic and like most of us not a teacher. People who home educate normally have more opportunities with learning and aren’t stuck at home.

The teacher sounds hugely unsupportive. And the comment about ink is hugely unprofessional not to mention horrible. Are you looking at Bitesize, twinkl, White Rose for maths? Just do the best you can. We’ve dropped all but core subjects. The school have send out a learning letter a day with 6 hours work on it. Once I stopped crying and stressing I’ve started to do our own thing. Even if your daughter does timetables, reading to you and some writing work that’s something. It’s very hard as a parent to not feel guilty. Ours have been useless, we’ve had to beg for different work but it’s not brilliant at all. We’ve always known kids with Sen fall far down their list but it has become hugely apparent they genuinely don’t care.

Your course sounds like it would benefit you and your daughter. Could you set up a timetable and dedicate the morning to her work? If you don’t feel the school is right that’s a conversation you need to have with your dh even if many of his family went there.

You’re doing a great job in very difficult circumstances.

[Yurona]

I’m dyslexic as well, so i get you! Luckily our school is awesome and everything is provided in a useable format for my (severely dyslexic) oldest and me. Its still hard, and that’s with an amazing school

[Yurona]

Do you have access to mathletics? It really helps us

[TrickyWords]

Is it a state or private school?

Our school is providing printed copies of all work to families requesting it due to no printer etc. I would complain if the teacher made the finance comment it writing but suspect they would deny it if it was verbal.

If you don’t get support from your DDs class teacher speak to the head of year, or HT. Of course you could also just chill.

[TrickyWords]

Apologies! Didn’t mean to post so quickly!

I meant chill and let your daughter enjoy being at home as much as you can. Introduce her to audio books so that she can experience books without you having to read. Get her into some BBC Bitesize, or Oak National Academy lessons she can do without you.

You care about her education and ultimately that is what will make the difference.

[Alanna1]

I would suggest as others have done that you contact the school, but until you get something else from them I’d ditch the school work and just read books and watch some bbc bitesize together.

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

Thank you all

I've decided to take a break from trying to do it, told her we're gonna leave it til after half term and she can make a lesson plan, decide what she wants to do but on the provider she mixes up the topics so we're at least doing a little bit of each and she seemed happy with it so we'll see.

Thing is she loves reading, she's constantly reading to the point that I'm like you need to take a break and play as you've been reading for hours! It's just the subject of school that she hates but hopefully letting her have input will help.

I've tried contacting the school again but they're now only concerned with getting the kids back asap which I won't be doing as I'm on the vulnerable list so can't risk it.

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

What's your routine?
What kind of tasks does she get?
Since she's an avid reader can she read about some of the topics instead of doing whatever her school has set?

I have to say their reply sounds awful to me, most of the schools I know have been very clear that they've set things and resources but we can only do what we can do ,no pressure ,no expectations.


Pick some (max 3 I'd say) non negotiables , ensure she gets plenty of play and breaks ,adapt the work if possible and screw the school and their passive aggressive "not enough".

[Endofmytether2020]

If you don't get any support after contacting the school again, have a look at this www.thenational.academy You don't have to print any of it out, and it is "taught" lessons. The form "marks" most of the work for you. You could start from the beginning of term and maybe do the sessions from the year below - tell your DD that you want it to be enjoyable for her. Also there are lessons (very simple) on the BBC that they have created for home learning. Just something like watching a children's documentary or drama with the subtitles on will also help improve literacy according to something I heard on Radio 4. Don't worry about your child's progress for now though. She is 7, so the most important thing is to make sure she feels safe, has some mental stimulation and is broadly speaking happy. Obviously it's better if you can find a solution that works for school as well as your family, but there shouldn't be a huge expectation on you to deliver/teach/print out etc. Your ongoing relationship with your DD is the priority here.

[Crumpetsforthequeen]

Well we've had our first 2 days back at doing schoolwork and so far it's going well, no arguments!!! I decided to just sit at the computer with her and go through it all answering the questions verbally and only writing down a few bits which seems to be less stressful and more effective than trying to get it all written down plus we got it all done in 2 hours instead of 6.

I've emailed the teacher again and told her this is how we're doing it and if they don't like it then they need to make some changes because their way isn't working.

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Is she learning? Is she enjoying it? Then it works , you both get the feeling you achieved something and leaves the day free for fun stuff.

[LWilliams20]

This may be useful? I am working on an initiative offering free videos and resources that cover the National Curriculum, creating opportunities for investigation, discussion, wider thinking & having fun learning at home. Opportunities that are aimed to fit in easily with your daily lives. Everything is free, downloadable and designed by specialists within education. We have animated our programmes to appeal to kids and have crew members helping us so we can mix in some live action parts. Broadcasting across social media, but you can find our central hub at: //www.homelearningfun.co.uk

There's a short video explaining more on Facebook & Twitter.

Let me know if you want to know more.