Lound demanding high needs baby 6.5 months

[Kerb252318]

my DD is so demanding. Ever since she was born she has pretty much screamed and cried every stage gas been a fight. When she is in a good mood she is a joy but we feel like we are always on a knife edge as she can turn at any time.

The latest thing is lound screaming shouting. So many people have said to me god she is loud.. Loads of my friends have had babies around same time and all of then are far more chilled out easier. It's put a massive strain on my relationship with DP, we seem to exsist. I am lucky and have stayed with with parents in Bournemouth for a week here or there and they are a massive support. They two say they have never seen a baby like her!

In her first few weeks a CD of the sea was the only think that would settle her. She has never been a baby you can comfort or cuddle to sleep.

She just cries at everything I have always left her to cry in cot at day time and sleep trainned her so she can go through now and day naps are better as she only cries for a minute or to then sleeps . But this am woke at 5.45 ...I knew she needed more but she cries that much I just get her up as bored listening to it! Other babies just thrash around make noises but she has two levels quiet or crying lound screaming

Will it get easier, why is she seemingly so unhappy ....or am I just a rubbish mum and sometimes I just feel like her carer and she can be so hard to love. I wanted to be a mum for so long but never thought it would be like this. My DP never really wanted kids so I feel like I have ruined his life. He is no support and I pretty much have to do everything. I don't leave her much as not sure how she will behave. Only really trust my mum!

Help help !!

[Tryharder]

OK. Firstly, You sound very low. Do you think your baby might be picking up on this? Have you spoken with a GP or HV about your feelings? It can't be easy with an unsupportive DP and no local family.

Secondly, have you ruled out any medical reason for your baby crying so much?

Thirdly, I honestly think your baby is too young to be left to cry it out by herself in a cot or sleep trained and perhaps you need to reassess the way you parent her. Even if your baby is crying, surely it would be better for her to cry in your arms where she knows she is safe rather than by herself. Is there any reason why you think you should leave her to scream in a cot? Some babies are just "high need babies." Have you considered reading any of the books by an American couple called Sears. They wrote a fantastic book about parenting babies with high needs - you could probably find it quite easily on Amazon. It will open your eyes to attachment parenting and other methods of childcare that are quite different to the ones you have been following and you may find them more successful.

Fourthly, I think you need to stop seeing your baby as something to be moulded and trained into shape. So, she woke at 05:45 and you only went and got her because you were bored by listening to her scream. I am sorry but that sounds awful and cruel! If that had been my baby, I would have just brought her into bed with me straightaway for cuddles and a feed and she would have gone straight back to sleep. Stop trying to get your baby to nap at a certain time and stop leaving the poor thing to scream. If she screams, rule out all the obvious - dirty nappy, hunger, cold, wet etc. Then pick her up, cuddle her, put on some music and dance with her, invest in a decent sling and carry her in that, go for a walk with her....she's your baby, get to know her a bit more rather than seeing her as a nuisance.

I am sorry if I sound harsh.