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It's such a long way when sh*t happens

(13 Posts)
Sibble Sun 26-Oct-08 03:25:28

Am having a bit of a sad weekend and it just feels so far from home. sad.

Heard yesterday my Gran died. She was 90 and went peacefully having been very unwell with senile dementia for a few years.

Have also just spoken with a friend who has been at the children's hospital all day with one of the mum's from school whose 12 year old son is clinically brain dead. They are waiting for the surgeon to arrive for organ transplants. They are also English with no family here. I don't know what to say to them. It really is a shit long way from home.

I wish I could transport myself back for her funeral but can't. The logistics are to hard with 2 young boys.

Anyway, just wanted to tell somebody really. All in all a very sad holiday weekend. sad

ClaudiaSlasher Sun 26-Oct-08 03:32:20

Oh Sibble, you poor thing. I am so sorry. It is truly awful to be so far away from our loved ones, particularly when shitty things are happening. I am so sad for you.

Is there any chance you could go back for the funeral on your own or with one of your boys?

Also very sad for your friend with the child in hospital. Truly dreadful.

primigravida Sun 26-Oct-08 03:38:40

Sorry to hear your news. Are you in NZ? We're having a holiday weekend here too.

hammouhouseofhorror Sun 26-Oct-08 03:45:39

So sorry Sibble. My grandad died last year. I was lucky enough to get to his funeral but can't often visit the cemetary he is in so I go to a local one to have a quiet time and think of him. Thought about leaving flowers under a tree there in his memory.
sending supportive vibes.....

Sibble Sun 26-Oct-08 03:47:57

Thanks. I suppose the bottom line is that if I really wanted to go I could but I've weighed up all the pros and cons and decided not to. Cost (we could find the money from somewhere), farming boys out, taking ds2 who's only 4, taking both of them etc etc. My family have said don't worry we were back in July and I said goodbye then, that she would understand doesn't stop you wanting to be there, not for her so much as my grandad who's 93 bless him. I guess I also feel guilty because if it was my maternal Nan I would have been on the plane yesterday.

I just don't feel I'm the best person to phone somebody else to console them today. What do you say to somebody who's ds was happily running around playing on Friday then 2 days later is clinically dead.

DH is being a star, we only buried mil a few weeks ago so he understands.

Anyway, off to play with the boys who keep saying - but mummy you were sad yesterday you can't be sad again today! You can't help but love how simple everything is at that age!

hammouhouseofhorror Sun 26-Oct-08 03:57:13

About your friends Ds, so so sad, there is nothing you can say but tell her that, but that she has your love and support. sometimes words really are not enough.
Your Grandad will understand, and most of us are closer to one set of Granparents than the other. I know that doesn't make it easier but you are going through enough without feeling guilty as well

Cauldronfrau Sun 26-Oct-08 04:19:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatSheSaid Sun 26-Oct-08 04:42:21

So sorry to hear about your gran Sibble. It is a bloody long way isn't it. Couldn't go to my mum's funeral due to being in hospital over here. My family had it videoed and sent to me, which sounds rather morbid but at least I got to hear the speeches made about her and see the church packed with so many people who cared about her.

How horrendous for the family of the 12 year old. Can't imagine how anyone can get through that.

ghosty Sun 26-Oct-08 04:56:57

Oh Sibble, I am sooo sorry
Call me if you want to chat, am in all evening and will be home tomorrow in the morning

CorpseBrideOfJohnCusack Sun 26-Oct-08 07:51:21

sibble I am so sorry

My mother was in the UK when her mother died here in NZ, she does sometimes say that it took ages for it to sink in that she had died because she couldn't go to the funeral.

we have all missed so many funerals and weddings due to our family being scattered all around the world. my ILs are currently having a pretty crappy time and we feel pretty helpless

none of this is much help, but just wanted to say, I understand where you're coming from.

Cauldronfrau Mon 27-Oct-08 00:56:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsWeasleyIsTheCrazyHatLady Mon 27-Oct-08 01:02:16

Sibble: So sorry sad

CarminaBanana Mon 27-Oct-08 01:56:26


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