Anyone else feeling a bit fed up?

[Newyearnewbrain]

Just that. Moved to Singapore coming up to four weeks ago. DD1 has settled into school well, with DD2 starting in January. Our furniture is still en route so we're indoor camping in our apartment.

Feeling properly fed up. I know once our stuff arrives it will get better but I miss my friends and I'm feeling pretty isolated. Doesn't help that DD1 is in a stroppy five-year-old phase too and is driving me nuts.

I've lived away from the UK for the last four years so I do recognise this phase of settling in but it feels like I'll never make friends.

Sorry that ended up being a bit longer than I intended.

[lljkk]

What do you do all day?

[squirrelonapetridish]

My friends lived in Singapore for a few years and ended up loving it. There's a huge expat community out there with loads of stuff going on. Have you thought about teaching English? That's a good way of involving yourself, keeping busy and meeting people.

[Newyearnewbrain]

We're on a pretty cool complex with pools and a gym so, that. Basically try and stay out as much as possible. To some extent life carries on as normal, take DD1 to school, buy food/clothes, take DD2 to various things to entertain her (she's 3) and try and sort out all the boring admin stuff that comes with an international move.

We have wifi and iPad/phones for downtime.

It's hot, so we can be out a fair bit. Just a bit lonely really.

[Newyearnewbrain]

Thanks squirrel, in fact yes I have! I have a CELTA (or TEFL if you're old school) so am qualified to. My main concern at the mo is that we live in a very French ex pat area. The DDs speak French and go to French school but I struggle and worry that I won't be able to fit in within the community. I know it's all about making an effort and I have done it before, just in a bit of a slump I think.

[lljkk]

Is there an expat community with an established social scene, that you could join up with?

Sorry if this is daft... what about a volunteer group or taking introductory language classes?

[Newyearnewbrain]

Quite probably there is but all seems a little overwhelming at the mo. It's more that I'm homesick and miss specific people.

Sorry bit of a whinge, I'm also very very fortunate to be experiencing life in a hugely different culture so I know I do need to suck it up and get on with it.

I'd forgotten about this homesickness bit, it just drains you of motivation and makes you want to crawl under the covers.

[MissTeriName]

What you are feeling is perfectly normal. And it's normal to feel this way shortly before Christmas because you're in a 'different life' now, even though day-to-day stuff is much the same as before.

Google 'comedown after moving overseas' and 'expat isolation' and also see if you can find something just for YOU.

[Newyearnewbrain]

Thanks miss. Yes I'm sure the prospect of Christmas is contributing to it all. All very odd heading into the malls in 39 degree heat and hearing all the carols and seeing the decorations. Gives me a touch of the Scrooges.

[Laptopwieldingharpy]

If you are near tge french school, you are not far from the Australian school no?
ANZA is great for socializing!

[Newyearnewbrain]

Can non Australiens join then?

[caramelgirl]

I found SIngapore incredibly difficult to settle into.
Suggest joining Real Singapore Expat Wives. They Organise eg Thursday socials at Hotel Jen by Tanglin Mall. My Neighbour is Italian but her kids go to the French school and she has joined an Italian women's association. Do you have any other nationality connections that you could use? 8 found being British was useless as there are so many of us no one wants to socialise.
Oober fit (and many others) run bootcamps in the Botanic Gardens and elsewhere which you can take tie three year old along to. Might be good for friends. Good luck!

[Newyearnewbrain]

Thanks caramel that would be worth looking into. Have joined a running group so will give that a go. Nothing says I want to make friends like a sweaty red faced middle aged woman!

[Blondie1984]

Don't be too hard on yourself - it's still really early days

[caramelgirl]

Good luck with running club.
Also, my absolute saviour friendship wise was a playgroup (3 hrs/day) where it was mostly mums doing the drop off and pick up. I met friends for coffee there and then we had regular nights out. Fabulous place for kids too (Little Bunnies, Infinite Studios near Tanglin School) . Might be worth skulking around at drop off/pick up time anywhere local and seeing how friendly people look!
I also joined a Bookclub and said Yes to any invitation ever proffered.
We are unexpectedly heading home early and whilst I will really miss some good friends. I won't really miss Singapore. I don't think we ever clicked tbh.

[Newyearnewbrain]

Yes toddler/playgroup was an absolute lifesaver in our last place (Switzerland). Made some amazing friends. DD2 is off to nursery in January so will have to squeeze her in to some groups before Christmas.

I often thought having young kids was a very easy and natural way to meet people, particularly other mums in the same position.

Blondie's quite right, it is very early days. Thank god for Tiger beer!

[caramelgirl]

It is early days. And tbf most people I know who have lived in Ch found it tough. So if you enjoyed there you are probably a Super expat (I am definitely not).
I think the helper culture here can slightly neutralise the social benefit of having young kids.
We'll be moving to a new village and I am really hoping that kids, including a new baby hopefully, and possibly the nuclear option of a puppy if I am desperate/crazy enough, will help me to make friends. I have scoped out schools near Parks so there will be the chance to hang out after school. Desperate to settle in quicker than I did here.
Good luck! Once it does click you seem to find that you know people everywhere you go and it is a lovely social place. Plus a helper does mean you can go out every night if you so choose....

[Newyearnewbrain]

Def not a super expat. Totally agree about the helper thing. Popped into a playgroup and there were no parents at all. The helpers were lovely but have no interest in hanging out with a parent.

Puppy option sounds excellent. Best conversation starter going!

[caramelgirl]

I asked around and apparently there is a drop in playgroup at st George's church in Dempsey which isn't religious and is very expat mum. So that might be a good start.
I've also struck up conversations at gogobambini in the cafe/toddler play area there.
And do look up the RSEW on FB. Such a supportive and informative group.
Good luck!

[Newyearnewbrain]

Thanks for all your advice Caramel. I appreciate it.