My DH wants to move abroad and I don't

Ramonel24 · 2016-05-07 11:27:26

Hi, I am in a very difficult position and I need some advice from yourselves. My husband got a promotion in Sweden and has already started his new job, lives in Sweden Monday to Friday and home and the weekends. I am a stay-at-home mum of two little boys, one is almost 3 and the other one is just 9 months old. My husband is danish but lived in the UK for the last 13 years working for the same company all this time and I am romanian, recently became a proud british citizen having lived in the UK for the last 10 years. I came to the UK with nothing, started from the bottom and worked my way up to having a good job at the time when I got pregnant with our first child, made very good friends who became like my second family and made UK my home, I speak the language fluently. At the point when my husband accepted the new job in Sweden he knew I was not ready for such a major change ( 3 months after having the second baby) and I would have loved to stay put and look at other options but he decided to take the job with the thought that he will convince me somehow to move. A few weeks later he also decided to sell our home ( I am not on the mortgage) hoping again that this will leave me no option but to move to Sweden. At this point I started to lose my trust in him, he has made me feel as my feelings and desires do not matter as long as he thinks what is best for us as a family and as long as he is the main bread winner. I have to mention that before he put the house on the market I had agreed to move for 3 years only and come back to the UK when our eldest son has to go to school and our youngest could go to nursery a few hours a week which would enable me to go back to work. The situation between us got really bad and he started throwing divorce in my face if I don't move and also would like to take the children to live in Sweden permanently and I, their mum, should come and VISIT because his argument is if I do not move I basically keep the children away from him. I broke down in tears many times begging him not to take the kids off me ( btw, he says I am an amazing mum) but there was no expression on his face seeing me in that state of desperation. He says that even if I move to Sweden and things between us do not work out he would still like to keep the kids with him ( he would be very likely to succeed as the kids habitual residence would be considered Sweden). His family got involved also pointing the finger at me, his dad called me a bad wife on social media, his sister said she was very sorry her brother ever met me, that I should be grateful for the privileged life he has given me etc. My husband blames me for my fallout with his family and has not shown much support. He even says now that if we all move to Sweden he might never want to go back to the UK and possibly move back to Denmark ( he would put me in a position where I would be geographically very close to his family knowing that my relationship with them is very fragile). I feel he has no consideration to my feelings, I lost my trust in him because he threatened me to file for divorce and take the children off me. My dilemma is : do I move with him in the hope things will get better and keep the family together but risking to be stuck in a country I have nothing if things do not work out or do I stay put in the UK where I risk ending up divorced but safer with regards to keeping my children?

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