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Living in America 2012--Because It Is No Longer 2011

(649 Posts)
MmeBucket Tue 10-Jan-12 02:50:36

This is what happens when I start threads--they get stupid titles. Someone else needs to start the next one. Hopefully we can get this one filled by 2013.

Link to old thread for reference

Not much happening here. The kids have been off school for 25 days. I am soooo looking forward to them starting school tomorrow. Except it is my day to help, so instead of getting a break from my two, I'll have 22 of them to deal with.

Want2bSupermum Fri 23-Nov-12 01:14:27

Wow he is doing so well. It is the cutest when they applaud themselves.

DH made a moroccan beef stew for dinner as we had to cancel thanksgiving plans. Hell will freeze over before I go to Boston Market for thanksgiving dinner! DD loved it. Rather surprised because DH decided to go off piste with the receipe and it was on the spicy side. Since she likes spice we are off to Hoboken tomorrow for an Indian. Can ya tell im pregnant?!?

blackcurrants Fri 23-Nov-12 01:36:36

Ooh, going to the Karma Kafe? grin
Friends of ours had a flat just above there - we used to go over (had babies at the same time) and order takeaway, then play boardgames while the babies slept (rock'n'roll lifestyle!) They moved to New Orleans and I miss them like CRAZY. So that place has a lot of good memories.

I have just realised that I am at the completely batshit insane phase of pregnancy where everything is a drama and a crisis. DS doing a poo in the park and having to flick poo out of his trousers (nappy free now) ... OH GOD HE WILL NEVER GET POTTY TRAINING AND I WANT TO CRY!
DS managing to get to the potty in time? OH GOD HE IS SO GROWN UP NOW AND SOON WILL LEAVE FOR COLLEGE AND NEVER LOVE ME ANY MORE (he's not even 3)....

I've wanted to cry over and over today, and, erm, I've watched tv, played games with my son, and eaten brownies... while DH has put on the washing, made food, tidied up.... you name it. Poor bugger, good job he likes babies, eh?

Only 4 more weeks to go. God I hate being pregnant.

Want2bSupermum Fri 23-Nov-12 04:11:02

Yeap - LOVE that place and they are so good with DD.

I am not very emotional but have been with this pregnancy. It annoys me more than anything because I know it is hormonal and irrational. Brownies are lovely.... I have been doing lots of warm brownies with ice cream and canister cream. I only like them when pregnant!

Very jealous of you only having 4 more weeks to go. I have 14 weeks to go.
Well 12 wks to my due date but I added two weeks on so I don't wallow like I did last time! One disadvantage of returning to work is that I won't qualify for FMLA. My leave will start Feb 11th and my due date is Feb 15th. After the mix up in my due dates when I accepted the job, I didn't want to neigotiate extra time off as my job wouldn't be protected.

yipee4weekstogo Fri 23-Nov-12 13:54:05

Hello all, we too are moving to NJ in January. Just waiting on the visas now. Can't believe its actually happening DHs company have been so slow at sorting things.

Glad you all weren't too affected by Sandy.

Blackcurrants hope the next 4 weeks passes quickly for you. Want2 cant believe you are working so close to your due date, I stopped work at 30 weeks when I was pregnant with DS. That is seriously hardcore, hope you dont get too tired.

blackcurrants Fri 23-Nov-12 14:19:20

Welcome, Yippee - I hope your move preparation goes smoothly!
I've never had Mat. leave here in the US, which I think is quite common if you're part time employed or whatnot. I'm fortunate to work from home 3 days a week at the moment, which means after-lunch naps... brilliant! Most people work up to their due date so they have as much time as possible at home with their babies after that.

Possibly I was insane to try potty training while so pregnant, but he was showing so many 'ready' signs... guh! He refused to sit on the potty because he was so 'busy' jumping up and down and singing just now, and pee went EVERYWHERE. Damn it.

Want2bSupermum Fri 23-Nov-12 17:27:53

Hiya yipee. Great news that you are coming over. I have heard rumours of there being less family rental properties available because of people displaced by sandy. I hope this isn't the case.

I could stop working at 36 weeks but then I would lose a good client that gives me 8 weeks of work during non-busy season months. Part of my performance criteria is that I have 1500 billable hours a year and I find it easier to be on one client for 6 weeks rather than a different client each week during the summer. What is also great is that if I can work through to Feb 11th I will get 100% pay while I am out. I wouldn't get much on disability (about $200 a week instead of $500 if I had remained on unemployment) because I was unemployed for the base period they use to calculate disability.

blackcurrants Bless him and you. Vinegar is great for cleaning up pee and really gets rid of the smell (I put it in the softener drawer when doing DD's laundry). Failing that we bought some pee neutralizer from petco for the dog. Works just as well on toddler pee and isn't that expensive.

Tarenath Mon 26-Nov-12 13:17:00

Welcome Yipee. We're moving to NJ too. Will you be renting or buying? We've been trying to buy since September but between sandy and sellers have been mucked around and are on our 3rd house, we're hoping to be in by Christmas but it's going to be tight!

Tarenath Mon 26-Nov-12 13:19:30

P.S I totally understand about the company taking forever with the visa. DH's company started his transfer in something like March but didn't submit the paperwork for the visas until August and they came through in September, then we flew to Chicago because we have family here and we've been here ever since trying to sort the house.

Want2bSupermum Sat 01-Dec-12 18:06:50

Well I got home last night and the house was a disaster. My father was passed out on the sofa and DH was guzzling wine. The dog was so happy to see me as everyone forgot to feed him since Wednesday. DD has all sorts of food stuck in her hair but she is loving the time with my Dad.

Hoping blackcurrants has had success with potty training. My Dad decided to teach DD to sit on the potty this week and pee into her diaper. Then he taught her how to climb up into her high chair. I nearly had a heart attack when she did it this morning but I have to say she is rather dextrous. She climbs in and then buckles up.

blackcurrants Sat 01-Dec-12 18:40:14

aww what a climbing starlet she is, want2! Welcome home, are you exhausted?

If DH forgot to feed the dog for that long I think he'd be facing divorce ... but them I am rather British about my dog grin

Potty training is fine in the house. Out and about we have accidents, but I haven't got him sorted for daycare, naps or bedtime yet. Daycare is the next tough nut to crack, I imagine. They've been supportive about putting him on their teeny sized toilet every hour last week, but not so much about him going commando under his trousers. I know he was in nappies last week - this week I'm just sending him in half nekkid, and with 5-6 pairs of backup trousers. He is quite good at knowing when to sit on the pot at home, but I think daycare is a much more exciting place, which has more distractions!

Hasn't it got cold recently? The wind, I think. Miserable grey here, makes me want tea and cake.

Well, everything makes me want tea and cake smile I just had a lovely hour and a half's nap while DS was sleeping, now I'm going to forage for lunch. Hope everyone else is getting a restful weekend.

yipee4weekstogo Sat 01-Dec-12 20:04:17

We are going to rent. Want2 that sounds horrendous but glad you all survived.

blackcurrants DS was very similar he was brilliant at home but went through 4/5 changes of trousers at nursery, I don't think he wanted to miss out on anything whilst he was paying a call. He got there after a couple of months.

Tarenath Mon 03-Dec-12 02:10:05

So am I going to freeze when I get up NJ in a week or so? It's been quite warm over here in Chicago. Haven't needed my winter coat yet which is good because it's in our shipped stuff which is stuck in PA!

Want2bSupermum Mon 03-Dec-12 04:48:03

blackcurrants I am exhausted and really pissed off with DH this weekend. I have my 2nd CPA exam on Friday. He thinks I spent the week pissing around in Chicago when I was in training everyday from 8.30am through 7pm and then studying until 1am.

I am very fed up with pushing myself and everyone else. DH took my Dad to costco yesterday. They came back with the wrong bloody yoghert and forgot to return DD's 24month outfits. It might only be $32 worth or stuff but I refuse to waste. I don't understand why DH is given so much responsibility at work yet forgets simple things like feeding the dog, changing DD's diaper (how hard is it to remember to change every 3 hours) and can't do work around the house.

Oh and I am exhausted. I slept for 1hr30min this afternoon which is not like me at all. I have snapped at everyone too because I am tired and really stressed about my exam on Friday. I wouldn't be so stressed if I had some support from my family but DH is too bloody busy calling his MBA buddies to debrief on the exam he had on Friday.

blackcurrants Mon 03-Dec-12 12:22:08

Oh Want2 that does sound grim. ((hugs)) I am not very calm about my feelings when pregnant, poor old DH does get bawled out a fair bit, but at least he knows what I'm thinking!

Tarenath it's actually just got milder again - I think you will get away without a big winter coat until at least the 11th, from the forecast - which is quite a pleasant respite! When do you arrive?

Tarenath Tue 04-Dec-12 14:17:02

Probably not until the 13th/14th. It's been so warm here. I was running around outside in a tshirt yesterday and still warm!

blackcurrants Tue 04-Dec-12 14:39:03

yes, it was 60f here yesterday - I was walking the dog in just a long -sleeved tshirt and an open cardie! I have absolutely no objective sense of what is hot and cold though, since I'm 37weeks pg now and therefore have a lot of extra heating on board!
Certainly there's a predicted high of 65/18c here today, which is madness- that's April weather! But it was down to 4c a week ago, I think - so I have no idea what's going on! I'm just glad it's not snowing, I don't want any big snowstorms between now and going into labour, as I've got to drive for 40 minutes uphill to Morristown, NJ, and I want the roads to be fine! smile

Tarenath Tue 04-Dec-12 19:28:37

Fingers crossed for mild weather for you blackcurrants! I'm also hoping for mild weather. It's a long old drive from here to there with a trailer on the back. You're right, it's nuts. I had so many people warn me about Chicago winters and they're all wondering what's going on. I haven't got my head around farenheit yet but I know it was below freezing here last week and the thermometer in the garden read 60ish yesterday.

Can anyone help me get my head around the school system btw? I was hoping for my eldest to start kindergarten after Christmas, but this was also when we were due to be moving in October so now everything is going to be rushed. He was home educated in England so I honestly have no idea what to look for in a good school but the area we're living in there are two schools with a Kindergarten class. One is close enough I could probably walk, the other is on the other side of town and I don't know if I could get him there if DH has the car for work. The close school also doesn't have a preschool for my youngest.

blackcurrants Tue 04-Dec-12 21:57:45

Well questions of how you'd get there and do you want them at the same school are something you sort of have to figure out and prioritise yourself, I'd imagine - but there's a lot of knowledge about the school system on here! I haven't done it yet because DS is only 2, but DH is a teacher here. What is it you want to know?

Want2bSupermum Tue 04-Dec-12 23:21:50

Tarenath Preschool doesn't exist per se unless you are in town such as Hoboken where they run the Abbott program. I have been told that there shouldn't be a huge difference between the elementary schools in a district but this is not the case in the town where I live due to the different socioeconomic mix as you get closer to Newark. In towns such as Westfield, Livingston, Millburn, Summit etc the difference between the schools is a lot less. I don't have a child in the school system but we are not happy with what we have heard and observed behaviour wise from the children in our town.

blackcurrants I hear you on the weather. A good way using the back roads is to join south orange ave at old short hills road. It is flat pretty much all of the way to morristown. It doesn't take that much longer than 24 and is much better if during the day.

blackcurrants Wed 05-Dec-12 00:21:23

Ooh, want2 that is VERY handy info - I'm off to look at that route on googlemaps, specially if it saves me a bit of time in traffic tomorrow morning (I go from Westfield to Madison NJ).

Tarenath are you thinking of private or public? most private schools (and some daycares, like DS's) do a "preK" for 3-4 year olds, but this is not common in public schools.

Tarenath Wed 05-Dec-12 02:44:35

We're looking at public. I'm not sure our budget would stretch to private. That's interesting about preschools. I didn't know that. I knew that preschool wasn't as popular here because it's not funded but most of the areas we looked at living seemed to have some kind of preschool attached to an elementary school. Where we'll be moving to the school district seems to be split into north and south. We'll be living in the south part but it's the north that has the preschool.

I guess my main concerns are the same as most parents sending their kids to school for the first time. How do I know it's the right school, especially when I don't know the school system here? Where we used to live, I'd been there 3 years and knew a lot of other parents and which schools had what reputation. This time I'm moving to a completely new area where I don't have that background information. The schools all look good on paper but paper isn't everything.

I'd like to find a preschool for DD since she's the most social of my kids. She started preschool in England at 2.5 so I can't imagine her having to wait until she's 5 here. I honestly think she'd go bonkers without some form of regular group activity. Preschool seemed to fill the gap that mum and toddler groups couldn't.

TheCatInTheHairnet Wed 05-Dec-12 03:06:37

Hi Tarenath! And congrats on your upcoming move! We moved out here when my youngest 2 were just turned 3 and 4. Finding a preschool is pretty easy, and I haven't met anyone at all who hasn't sent their children to preschool. In fact, it's completely unheard of to me! But yes, you have to pay. We chose our kids' preschool on the fact it was the scruffiest and most laid back, which appealed to us. And there is no rule that says she has to be signed up for preschool in the first week. Go and look at them when you get there.

We only had on paper views of the older schools too (and for the older 2, that was all a bit of a gamble) but the best you can do is research and hope! Facebook is a good tool now too. Check out if your schools have a FB page and contact some of the people on it before you get there.

As an aside, is the town you're moving to that is split into a N and S school district begin with M?! I can't see if you've already said. If so, we looked there too!!

Want2bSupermum Wed 05-Dec-12 03:24:29

blackcurrants Instead of staying on Old Short Hills Road try taking Parsonage Hill Road. You will intersect South Orange Ave at livingston Mall. The other good road to take to Morristown Memorial (and the Avalon Center) is to take 124 which is Madison Ave. The only issue with this route (apart from there being more traffic lights) is that if there is snow you have a couple of turns in and around Chatham.

blackcurrants Fri 07-Dec-12 15:13:35

Thanks for the tips, Want2 - I'm slogging up and down to Morristown from here at least once a week for checkups now, so I've got time to try a few routes!

god I'm tired of being pregnant. 2-3 more weeks, at the most, thank goodness!

Want2bSupermum Fri 07-Dec-12 17:33:31

I hear you. I am exhausted this week. I am cat napping all the time now. It is really bad and I am worried about how I will cope with going to client on Monday for the week. I am hoping I can stay awake!

I am 30 wks today and seriously thinking about stopping at 36wks. I won't get paid but sod the money!

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