Anyone up for a Christmas support thread?

[OneOfTheGrundys]

It’s looming and it’s our first Christmas with DH’s diagnosis.

Anyone want to join? All welcome, patient, supporter, friend.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

How are you doing?

This will be my last Christmas so I'm swinging wildly from trying to make it all perfect to just wanting to hide away!

[NormaLouiseBates]

I'd like to join if that's okay? My Dad has just been diagnosed with lung cancer and I think I'm still in shock a bit. Planning for Christmas seems a bit surreal and pointless and I've never felt less festive in my life.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

Sorry to hear that Norma

I usually love Christmas, but I'm not really feeling festive at the moment.

I have written my Christmas cards anyway, trying to get organised as my health is so up and down. But part of me just kept thinking "what's the point?!"

[NormaLouiseBates]

Thank you Leslie. I'm sorry, I've just properly noticed your comment in your first post about this being your last Christmas. I am so sorry; I think you're pretty incredible to have written your cards to be honest.

[WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo]

I wrote the last of them today and I actually found it quite therapeutic. I usually like sending cards :) I'm trying to force myself to do things as I normally would even if I can't find the same joy in it. The news is quite recent so I'm still coming to terms with it, but it's getting a bit easier each day. A few Christmas cards have already arrived so I've put them on display.

How is your dad?

[dahliaaa]

Leslie bugger buggerations. I have been a long term lurker on the lacies thread because my DH has cancer and I’ve thought of you often. I’m so sorry to see your update. Sending you peace and calm and still lovely times ahead x

[NormaLouiseBates]

Leslie I think you're amazing. You sound so calm and at peace

My Dad is not doing so good, thank you so much for asking. He told my husband yesterday he doesn't think there is much hope but that isn't true; the consultant was very confident that the cancer is treatable. I'm worried for his mental health as much as his physical. He's got a variety of other long term medical issues too so we've had to move him downstairs as he just can't manage stairs at the moment. My mum is struggling with looking after him (he's not a very easy patient at the best of times) but is reluctant to accept any help from carers. To be fair, he only came out of hospital on Wednesday (following a chest infection) so she wants to give it a few more days and see how she's getting on.

I go over there most days and my adult daughter goes on the days I can't, when I'm working, but it never quite feels like enough? I feel like a big ball of worry and anxiety these days. I just can't ever switch off. It's my first thought when I wake up and my last before I fall asleep and practically every thought in between.

Sorry, that turned into quite a 'woe is me' rant didn't it? Just the thought of trying to get sorted for Christmas makes me want to scream. I wish I could just wake up tomorrow and it be January and all over. I just can't be bothered with any of it.