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What would you send someone in these circumstances

(5 Posts)
BarchesterFlowers Wed 18-Oct-17 08:59:40

My dear friend’s brother has been advised that he has got a few weeks to live. She is next of kin and he will come home to her house for his last weeks if he recovers enough to do so and his pain management is sorted out.

I know him, not massively well, I see him a few times a year. I am supporting my friend but would really like to send something more than a card to her brother. He has everything he needs and a lovely family sitting with him for most of the day in shifts.

He is currently a very poorly man. Drowsy and very confused from the medication.

He isn’t eating much (in hospital) so no food (or flowers).

The only thing I have thought of is a book of photos of somewhere I know is close to his heart, my thought being that he isn’t up to reading but if he had a brighter moment he might look at some beautiful photos for a few minutes and it might lift his spirits.

Or is that a bad idea and should I stick to a card.

Any other suggestions of what to buy and what to do (or not) for him, not my friend, I know how to help her.

scaevola Wed 18-Oct-17 09:16:48


You might like to have a browse on this site

Is he likely to be compos mentis once at your friend's house?

I think audiobooks are always useful - does he have a favourite kind of story?

smallmercys Wed 18-Oct-17 09:24:01

Being given presents doesn't hold the same meaning towards the end of life when attention span is short and space in the room may be limited.

A simple and sincere message (and/or photos) in a card is always welcome in a situation like this. It creates a talking point that's not too demanding.

I hope your friend's remaining days are peaceful.

BarchesterFlowers Wed 18-Oct-17 21:16:26

Thank you both. I have gone with my book of photos of the place he grew up idea. No thinking/reading required and on a grey day outside he can look at a pretty, sunny scene of somewhere he loves if he wants to. If it makes him smile just once it will do.

I don't have any special photos with him in so a card and a book it is.

I don't think he will be very with it Scaevola. His demise is very sudden, he was actually moved to a hospice today - I am not sure he will be able to move from there (he has only been unwell/diagnosed for a few weeks).

sortingmyselfoutslowly Tue 14-Nov-17 21:48:48

That's a lovely idea OP.

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