Dad has cancer I have abnormal cells in my cervix, stressed!

[Flippinlife72]

My df has had lung cancer for a year now, he's recently had to go into a nursing home, he couldn't manage at home on his own and I live 4 hours drive away from him with 4 kids to look after and a business and my sister 2 hours away with a full time job and a dd to look after. It has been so difficult flying up and down the motorway dealing with him deteriorating in and out of hospital we're both exhausted. I've just recently had a bit of a health scare myself after a biopsy on my cervix, I have to have treatment in January to remove abnormal cells, I'm sure it will be all fine just added to the stress.

I feel so guilty though, I've been driving up or getting the train up to see my dad at least once a week but it's taking its toll and I have so much else to do with 4 kids , my OH has been brilliant coming out if work to pick kids up from school etc etc but now it's nearing Xmas he's busier, the kids have all sorts going on this week and my dad keeps ringing me up saying when am I coming up! I want to but I haven't done my Xmas shopping yet plus all the other things going on I just can't fit it in. Unless of course it becomes an emergency then I would just drop everything but I have to think about my kids my partner, his mum but I feel guilty all the time about whatever decision I make, my dp is not the dad to my 2 which makes it feel worse. Luckily my sister is having my dad over Xmas as long as he's well enough, and I've arranged i'all be there 27th but I know he expects me there before 😞😤 stressed and guilty

[Blossomdeary]

Can he move to a nursing home nearer you and your sister? - somewhere in between maybe.

[Flippinlife72]

Oh believe me we've thought about that and discussed it but well for so many reasons we didn't. He was too ill to travel anywhere when we made the decision, his medical team all know him and his records are there, he has lots of people to visit him there too as known people for years, if we moved him near us it would just be us , plus other family members up there have helped us out sometimes, it would be nearer for us but I'm not sure easier and not what my df wanted either!