I just need somewhere to express my feelings.
My dad who is in his 80's has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, he lives 200 miles away and lives on his own! I'm wondering how I'm going to cope I have 2 children and 2 step children and an older sister who is hardly speaking to me. It's really upset me how's she's been with me, I've asked her to put aside any malice now as our dad needs us. She said she would but there's still sarcasm and just something in her voice, it really hurts especially at this time.
My dad has always been healthy, well I say that but he survived a heart attack 20 years ago and stomach ulcer before that lol, but in the last few years he's been going swimming twice a week, runs up and down the stairs to keep fit. Loves walking still does, he's really fit, but cancer doesn't care I know that. I'm just wondering how things are going to be towards the end, living this far away, trying to run my business keep kids happy too.
I've been through this before with my mum she too died of lung cancer she was only 54, that was tough because I was very close to my mum and only in my 20s by then, not married or anything, it was awful watching her detoriate and watching the hospital use experimental procedures on her while she was so frail. She wasn't my mum towards the end her body had been taken over. Now I have to go through it with my dad, I mean he's a lot older and enjoyed his retirement and had a pretty decent life, it's just I didn't want this ending for him, u kind of hope they die in their sleep tucked up in their warm bed or something lol. He's so independent and now slowly he's going loose that, or maybe quickly I don't know yet. I'm disappointed I never got him down here to see my new house with my lovely partner and children, take the dogs for a walk etc.
I'm holding all my worries in so I've used mumnet to express my feelings , get it all out. I've got to hold it together over the weekend as I'm going up to see him, and then for the children's sake it's hard but unfortunately it's also life.
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Life-limiting illness
Terminal lung cancer for my dad
3 replies
Thatslife72 · 22/01/2016 21:39
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