Who has used home AI?

[lbandjfl]

Hi. I've already got one thread on here but I wanted to reach a wider scope of people.

My partner and I want to start the process of home AI and want to speak to as many people as possible about their experiences, good and/orbad?

Any advise you have would be great...

[rhetorician]

yes, we did, twice - not at home mostly, but in a variety of hotels...not sure if I have replied to you before, but happy to tell you what we did. First time it took (I think) 7 goes (including one miscarriage), second time it worked on the 3rd try (dp was 39 when dd1 was born, and 42 when dd2 was born)

[lbandjfl]

My main concern with this method is the donor turning around in years to come and say they want access. Have you experienced this?

[Ladygahgah]

I did. Twice. Conceived first time both times too. No worries about the donor. We met him in a pre organised place where he gave us his donation. As long as its kept in the dark, and at body temp it's all good. We don't know where he lives and vice versa. No way of contacting him again now either. We did see proof of sperm count and HIV tests etc, but he had the common sense to block his name on them. So no worry about him wanting access. In fact dp and I are just about to hopefully complete the adoption(dp is adopting them).

[Devora]

Yes, I've done this. Took about a year (I was 40 when I conceived).

The tricky bit is definitely finding the donor and negotiating an agreement with him. I strongly urge you to find out about the law in this area (I think Stonewall do a leaflet for lesbians on getting pregnant). The law is clear that all children have a right to a relationship with their parents. A donor is classed as a parent unless they have donated anonymously via a registered clinic. You can reduce the risks by (a) picking your donor carefully, (b) drawing up a contract with the donor (not legally binding but very useful in flushing out areas of disagreement and mismatched expectations), (c) not putting his name on the birth certificate.

We opted for a known donor who IS on the birth certificate. He has a full relationship with our dd, has her to stay one weekend in two, and pays generous child support. This makes us legally vulnerable but gives her a great and full relationship with her father.

[stayloose]

Hi, I've not done this yet but came here today to research the same thing. I've found www.stonewall.org.uk/at_home/parenting/2626.asp very useful, who is considered a legal parent varies depending on how/where it's done and whether you are in a civil partnership but there's pretty good explanations of this on the Stonewall site.

[wrighty2010]

Hi, I used a donor via AI and it took around 3 months. I got to know the donor first and arranged to meet to pass the sperm over, as the other person said if it is kept at body temperature and you use it quickly then it is ok. I also bought an AI kit from a website (Pride Angel) which included extender tips which helps the sperm get higher up the cervix, more like the actual process of ejaculation. The only other advice I would give it common sense, make sure you have current sti test results and look at getting a donor agreemennt in place. The law is changig daily and so it is best to protect everyone involved! I mentioned Pride Angel earlier, they are a connection site but as they deal with this all the tie they also have good advice and legal help, they had an old blog which went through the basics of AI. So may well be worth a look if you get a chance, in the meantime, good luck, its a very exciting time! xx

[kandle]

From a legal stand point, both you AND your partner can be on the birth certificate if you are in a civil partnership and you did not have a sexual relationship with the donor.

I am a non biological mum to our 10 month old daughter and have as many rights as my partner, her bio mum. Our baby will always have occasional contact with her donor as we feel this is important for her identity but her has no rights over her.

She was conceived through AI (in a hotel), if I can be of anymore help just ask.

Good luck xx

[kandle]

From a legal stand point, both you AND your partner can be on the birth certificate if you are in a civil partnership and you did not have a sexual relationship with the donor.

I am a non biological mum to our 10 month old daughter and have as many rights as my partner, her bio mum. Our baby will always have occasional contact with her donor as we feel this is important for her identity but her has no rights over her.

She was conceived through AI (in a hotel), if I can be of anymore help just ask.

Good luck xx

[rhetorician]

ah yes, kandle the hotels...I can't go into one of those identikit chain hotels and hear lift music without thinking of inseminations! dd2 was conceived in the premier inn in crewe...lol

[kandle]

Ha ha, can certainly relate to that!

[queenofthefairies]

My partner and I are currently trying to conceive via AI.... We found our donor on a website called FSDW but Prideangel also seems a good site.

Prideangel is a good site for buying the insemination kit and information on how to improve you chances / best technique.

If you go onto FSDW or Prideangel they have template written agreements that you can alter to your own preferences and get your donor to sign. Although I'm told that the agreemnents itself isn't 100% legally binding it does make yours and your donor's terms clear from the start and in the unlikely event he takes you to court it is proof on what was agreed.

You didn't say if you are civil partnered to your partner but the law is more clear if you are. Providing you are civil partnered before conceiving and insemination is done in an artificial manner. The non-bio mummy is automatically the second parent, can be named on the birth certificate and it states the child has no legal father. This means the donor has no rights over the child.

If I can be of any more help PM me.

Best of luck!!

[MrsSquirrel]

Regarding the legal aspects, I have just read this interesting blog post about How to avoid a known donor dispute.

Food for thought.

[wrighty2010]

Hi, just wondered how you are getting on? Did you find the information you needed? I agree with queenofthefaries, Pride Angel does have good information on ai techniques and as I said on an earlier post they also have some good kits. I think the thing that I never considered was that it might not work first time round but hey guess it doesnt also the natural way!! So be prepared for that too. There was a good forum post on also from a natural fertility expert on how to recognise when you are fertile, you might also find that helpfull? forum.prideangel.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=537 let us know how you are getting on, best wishes xx

[SlmHlb]

Hi all. I'm a bit late to this thread, but looking for some advice. My partner and I are about to start trying for our first baby. We've been looking at some Danish clinics online who will send donor sperm direct to your house for home insemination. Anyone have any experience or advice on this?
Stacey x

[beeuk]

Hello , i like to add that my wife an i did home AI. She got preg on the 4th try. We are married so were both on birth certificate. hope all went okay for you.

[Lumpybumpy13]

Hi,

We tried home insemination last year and it worked first time! We have a lovely man who donated to us in our home and just left us to it once he had donated which in turn made me more relaxed only having me and my partner in our own home. It worked first time! I'm now 26weeks pregnant with our son and our donor has no involvement as we discussed with him when we met him to discuss the donation. We keep contact details up to date with him and us but that's all.

I would deffinately try this method again for our second child. X