I'm not a mum, but did not know where else to turn to for advice.
A while back one of my friends came out as gay to me, and I didn't really care, I treated it as though it was so insignificant and didn't matter to me when now i realise how much it meant to him. I thought I was being a good friend, by not making a big deal of it. A bit later, I had gay feelings, and when I told him about them he told me I was gay, which was pretty obvious in hindsight. Back then, I reacted really badly, said some horrible homophobic things, spread a rumour about him, and treated him like . I apologised, but you can never really get past the way I treated him for telling me the truth. More recently, I know he was doing badly, after he tried to come out to his parents and they were y about it. I know I should have reached out and I didn't. And now he's passed. I wish it was me. I think most people reading this do too. And they're right. I was a **y person, and I can never wash his blood from my hands. I killed him. I don't know what to do
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LGBT children
Teen suicide
notamum124 · 10/07/2019 01:36
Please, OP talk to the Samaritans.
www.samaritans.org/
It is not your fault your friend died, you may have said and done some unhelpful things but we all do at times.
I think that maybe the best thing you can do now, is to live your life to the very best of your ability. To help others in need of friendship and support. To use these tragic and sad experiences to make the very best of your life.
You did not kill your friend. You failed to support him but you may be able to support others. Please be kind to yourself. 
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