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What am I supposed to feel?

(8 Posts)
IrianofWay Sat 10-Jan-15 10:59:24

DH and I went up to bed last night to find a note from dd (15) telling us that she is bisexual. She thought she was for a long time as she has crushed on boys and girls but having researched it and talked to her friends she is now sure and has been for a year or so. She feels much more confident now that she has accepted this (and we have both noticed a change in her attitude and behaviour). She couldn't bring herself to say the words out loud to us even though she knew we'd probably be OK with it.

First reaction was to be delighted that she told us - it can't have been an easy thing to do. Second reaction is ....nothing really. I have no negative or positive reaction to the news. I went in to talk to her - just gave her a hug, thanked her for telling me, told I loved her and if she ever wanted to talk she could.

Am I supposed to be shocked? Is it weird that it doesn't bother me? Does it mean I am an uncaring parent. What does she need from me? Confused.

Azquilith Sat 10-Jan-15 11:10:08

I think it sounds like you managed it perfectly in being supportive but showing that it wasn't a big deal.

MagpieCursedTea Sat 10-Jan-15 11:12:23

I think it's a good that it doesn't bother you! Giving her a hug and telling her you're there if she needs to talk was probably the best response. It doesn't need to be a big deal, it sounds like she's comfortable with her sexuality which can only be a good thing.

AmantesSuntAmentes Sat 10-Jan-15 11:18:08

No, it's 2015! Any parent worth their salt would be completely unperturbed. I'm looking forward to the day lgbt people don't even feel the need to 'come out'. It just shouldn't have to be a thing, IMO.

AmantesSuntAmentes Sat 10-Jan-15 11:18:13

No, it's 2015! Any parent worth their salt would be completely unperturbed. I'm looking forward to the day lgbt people don't even feel the need to 'come out'. It just shouldn't have to be a thing, IMO.

IrianofWay Sat 10-Jan-15 11:49:02

"It just shouldn't have to be a thing, IMO."

Well quite.

Thanks everyone.

alsmutko Fri 16-Jan-15 19:15:34

Mm. Just happened to me too. DD told me by text which was a bit hmm. As I said to her, one or both of us might have needed a hug.
She's back from uni for a weekend soon so we can have hugs then. My feeling is - not that surprised really and it's not really an issue.
Sounds like you're handling it well OP.

Clobbered Fri 16-Jan-15 19:19:17

DS (14) tells me difficult things by text. He finds it hard to tell me things without a lot of prompting and this seems to work well for him.

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