DS, 11, asked me yesterday what would I do if he was gay. I wasn't really sure what he meant (do? what do you mean do? did he mean punish???!) but I said I would not do anything "about" it but I would try to find resources for support (to see how I could support him) because sometimes people weren't kind about people who were different in any way (as he already knows...).
He seemed ok with this though we discussed further and he seems to think he's more bisexual than gay. He says he fancies 4 people and they are drawn from both genders. My concern is that because it seems everything is so sexualised now, that he doesn't really know what "fancying" someone is. He has had lots and lots of girlfriends but I think that's just a theme at his school (they all seem to be going out and then breaking up with each other all the time). He has very passionate friendships but after some gentle questioning (he's just had sex ed at school) he doesn't really understand this fancying business. He still thinks the idea of sex is hilarious/yuk. He just loves people it seems - I said perhaps he would be the kind of person for whom it didn't matter what gender their partner was. He seemed happy with this.
I really want him to be able to come to an understanding of his sexuality himself - I don't want to discourage him from finding out he's gay/bisexual, but I don't want to be like Eddie from AbFab either, desperate for him to be so. Do people have to have a sort of sexual sense of themselves before they know? Maybe this is just a fluid age? Any advice? Just don't want to fuck up, puberty is hard enough as it is!
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LGBT children
I am after some advice.
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melezka · 07/07/2011 13:40
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