House and ex

[Paigeamie]

Hi

I don't know if anyone has been in the same position but hoping I can get your opinions.

I left my husband 6 years ago and left the marital home. We made an agreement after debts were paid etc on what equal share we each get out of the equity in the house. I have not pushed to get things sorted out as I knew he was not in a financial position to remove me from the mortgage.

Two weeks ago he contacted me saying he wanted to get things sorted. (I have since found out he wants to re marry). He has tried to remortgage, with my son as the second person and has been turned down. He asked to do the divorce now and sort the house at a later date. I have said it needs to be done together, lets face it I would be stupid to sign divorce papers without the money from the house. He has now said he will have to sell, my concern is last time he said he would do this he said he would cancel the mortgage payments which worries me. I do not have the funds to pay it on top of the rent i am also paying.

My new partner wants us to take the house over which i have explained i can't really do as I wouldn't get a mortgage right now to buy ex out so would not solve the divorce issue. Also i want to have my share 15k, pay off my debts then use the 10k to try and buy a new house. It would also meam moving areas amd both trying to get new jobs

I'm worried if ex stops paying mortgage this will affect my credit rating further.

I would also point out my ex is not really living there at the moment just my son and girlfriend.
I feel so stressed right now and stuck in the middle.

Any advice would be really really appreciated

[Collaborate]

You can't stop the divorce if you've been separated 5 years. Your cooperation is only to ease the passage of the divorce.

An order for sale is inevitable. If it can't be agreed you'll have to apply to court. The court is likely to want him to promise to pay the mortgage until sale.

[InProgress]

Yes you can block the divorce. You can block it between the decree nisi and absolute and take him to court to sort out your finances. Once you have a court order the divorce goes through.

My ex also wanted us to get divorced and sort out finances later. Thing is once you're divorced you have no claim on the assets and pension in the ex partners name as you would now be legally single.

[Collaborate]

@InProgress That is so so wrong. That tells me you are merely guessing. I do wish people wouldn’t do this when people come on here asking for legal advice.
You can only ask the court to delay decree absolute on a 5year petition if you can demonstrate grave financial or other hardship. OP cannot.

As for this nugget of advice: Thing is once you're divorced you have no claim on the assets and pension in the ex partners name as you would now be legally single. - this is so wrong I don’t know where to start.

[Paigeamie]

So basically he can go ahead with the divorce without the house being finalised? Luckily he is not refusing to sell it was his decision I even tried to come up with scenarios that may help him keep it. However in the last 6 years instead of trying to clear the debt he has got himself into a lot more. I've been patient and tried to be helpful and reasonable but don't want to wait another 6 years whilst he tries to get in a position to remortgage. Especially if the past is anything to go by. I've been advised that i have every right to make him have it valued and ask for half the equity which would mean I could get double what i have asked. The debt when i left wasn't in my name but i was being reasonable as they were built up when we were were a couple. I just want it sorted as easily as possible and without being left with nothing.

[Collaborate]

Then you need to cooperate with the divorce and agree a court order that means the property has to be sold. Any dispute as to the asking price you take it back to court and ask the judge to decide. You then have something tangible and enforceable. At the moment you just have some vague agreement and nothing you can do to enforce it other than get this order on divorce.

[Paigeamie]

Thanks for your advice 😀

[spinabifidamom]

First of all you cannot stop divorce proceedings.

Your best bet is to proceed carefully with the paperwork for now and sort out the court case and order. If there’s any issues surrounding the price go back to the courts and inform the judge. Let them settle everything on your behalf.

There’s really nothing you can do apart from have a official record of the divorce. Regarding your financial issues now, I recommend having the courts deal with all that stuff. It’s worth it in the long run. Take my word for it.

You will have something worth enforcing. Once you get a court order, the divorce is legally binding. Speaking of which, do you have a good lawyer?

[InProgress]

Given that this is my experience of my own divorce I know what I'm talking about. 🙄 It does not stop a divorce completely rather freezes the decree absolute until the court order has been agreed.

[InProgress]

Speak to a solicitor after all they can advise you taking your particular circumstances into account. Best of luck.

[Collaborate]

@InProgress What you posted was this: Yes you can block the divorce. You can block it between the decree nisi and absolute and take him to court to sort out your finances. Once you have a court order the divorce goes through.
You are referring to s10 of the MCA 1973. OP would not stand a chance of getting an order under s10 given the circumstances of the case. Therefore your advice was incorrect. Given that I have practiced as a solicitor for 26 years in this field of law I know a little better than you what I'm talking about.

[Paigeamie]

No i don't have a solicitor yet which is another worry.... how am I supposed to pay for one? would it something that could be paid at the end. I won't qualify for any help but don't have the spare income either, what a mess.... I worked as a legal secretary and used to know how all this worked but that was about 24 years ago 🙄

[MissedTheBoatAgain]

As for this nugget of advice: Thing is once you're divorced you have no claim on the assets and pension in the ex partners name as you would now be legally single. - this is so wrong I don’t know where to start

Hilarious. The poster was obviously not aware of the 5 year rule that effectively deems the two parties to be divorced even if formalities have not been completed.

If Law was as suggested by InProgress what would prevent a wealthy partner from vanishing for 5 years so they could keep all assets they may have hidden during the marriage?