NDN issues, what to do next?

[foxychox]

Hello, looking for advice please on whether we are at the end of the road. Things have always been a bit prickly between us and NDN but have worsened over the past year due to the behaviour of their DS (17). For a long time he was not allowed in the house on his own so would have to wait around outside until his parents turned up and let him in. We had several instances later where he was in the house with friends (without parents) and we had to bring the kids into the house due to the swearing from them in the garden. This was brought up reasonably with the DS but he was just rude back to us. We also witnessed him making a racist remark out of his window to a child passing his house. These small incidents were reported to 101.
Most recently he started spitting on our drive as he walked past. On the last occasion my husband was parking our car with our DC inside at the time and so got out and followed him to his front door to ask him to stop. He replied with foul language, his dad came to the door and did the same. The dad and the son threatened my DH and as my DH turned to leave their property the DS pushed him. These incidents were reported to police, they interviewed DH and the NDNs (who had already told him that they were going to lie) but no charges or cautions were issued. The DS takes every opportunity now to taunt us that he has got off with this.
I'm really stressed out by this, we have made a lot of sacrifices to get this house and live in a safe area (we are in London) for our DC and this little shit is destroying our safe haven. I have a stressful job and I really need peace and quiet at home, instead I lie awake wondering what he will do next.
Can we appeal the police decision, or ask for some kind of asb order? We have plenty of evidence with around 10 events logged with the police and council...
Many thanks for sticking with it....

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Would it be worth ignoring the spitting and not getting into any confrontations with him about anything, as long as he is not escalating his behaviour? Just to try and calm the situation down.

[Realowlette]

You can ask the police who made the charging decision and why. I'd also ask to speak to your local community officer. You may not be able to change what's happened this time but evidence of anti social behaviour can be collated and used to assist a prosecution in the future. You might want to invest in some outside cameras also. You can get them at quite reasonable prices online or somewhere like maplins and would help support your version of events in the future.
Also do they own their own home? If not, most council tenants or housing association have to abide by certain behaviour contracts which they may have breached or if private some landlords would rather not deal with complaints.
Good luck, it's awful when some little horror thinks they don't have to behave decently.

[LizzieSiddal]

I was also going to suggest cameras. You'll then have evidence of their disgusting behaviour, to take to the police.

[BarbaraOcumbungles]

Get CCTV :)

[foxychox]

Thanks for replies! Yes after the assault we did put up a camera, I feel gutted that we had to do that.

[foxychox]

And yes, will try to get to speak to local community officer fir my peace of mind more than anything else....

[Penfold007]

Your NDNs sound awful, you need to try to disengage and ignore their petty behaviour. You've now got CCTV to monitor and record any incidents on your property. It was DH's word against NDN's with no actual evidence or an independent witness so the police were unable to take further action.

[RedHelenB]

I wouldn't have bothered 101 with those instances tbh. I think ignore might be the best policy unless his spitting on the drive escalates to actual damage.

[foxychox]

RedHelen it wasn't just spitting, it was assault and verbal threats to "fuck us up". my opinion is that needs to be looked into.

[RedHelenB]

It sounded as though you had called 101 before the assault?

[PinkietheElf]

The only good thing is that he is 17 and there is a good chance he will move out/ be arrested for something else which might calm his behaviour around you/ fall out with his family etc etc. Or he might mature and stop the aggressive carrying on.
Try to pity him as he looks like a loser and not heading for a happy life.

[PersianCatLady]

Your OP does not contain some information which may affect what can be done here.

1. Do you own or rent your home?

1. Does your NDN own or rent their home?

1. If either 1 or 2 is rent then is that council / HA / private?

1. What do you ideally want to happen here?

Let me know and I might have some ideas for you.