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Non molestation order

(6 Posts)
user1468348545 Sun 08-Jan-17 11:31:16

Please stay with me as desperately need some advice.
Long story short my OH has always been a little of the jealous type. After several little arguments I asked him to stay somewhere else for a couple of days to give me some thinking space but mostly to make him realise that I wasn't going to tolerate accusations of cheating when I am 100% committed to him and him only. He came over to talk and things turned very quickly and I said a lot of nasty stuff and so did he. It took a rather nasty turn and it ended with me blocking him from coming into the bedroom where me and my 7yo were. He pushed his way to try and get my phone as he had bought the phone and my mum was on the line and panicked and rang the police. Totally justifiable considering what she heard on the phone as I was very emotional. I ended up down the police station and having to make a statement. He was arrested but released with a caution as he had shown remorse for everything he'd done and had no criminal record.
This is where it gets complicated. My dad came down and as he had access to a solicitor had drawn up in less than a day a non molestation order ex partay and insisted I take it into the court and file it. At the time I was a wreck with emotion and my dads a hard man to say no to so I filed it despite not wanting to.
The judge granted it and my dad served the paperwork to him so now we have a non molestation order for 1 year. We have a hearing in a couple of weeks to give him a chance to defend.
However, maybe I'm naive but I'm sure he regrets everything and all I want is for him to get some counselling as he's always struggled to process emotions and heal himself so that we can potentially get through this.
It was 110% the best relationship I had been in and he was my best friend for so long.
I know If I ever take him back we are in for a battle and a half with family etc but I know we could come out the other side.
So my question is this; can I cancel the non molestation order as I don't think it is necessary? I know from 3rd parties that he is already trying to get the help he needs and is remorseful. But I fear if I try and take the non molestation back that social services etc will get involved with my son from a previous marriage; he would not be at risk. My (ex) oh adored him as my son did him and I would never even consider all this if I felt he would be at risk in even a remote way.
Apologies for the long post but as you can imagine it's all turned into such a mess that has snowballed so fast and I've been an emotional wreck. I haven't got anyone I can truly talk to as obviously to most people looking from the outside this is very black and white so I was hoping that someone may have gone through similar or have at least some legal advice. Eagerly waiting for replies...

user1468348545 Sun 08-Jan-17 11:36:05

And to clarify he didn't hit me or touch me otherwise this wouldn't even be being considered

user1477282676 Sun 08-Jan-17 11:38:49

I think you sound like you're having regrets but if you ask me, the non molestation order should be left in place. Judges don't grant them where they're not deemed sensible and necassary.

user1477282676 Sun 08-Jan-17 11:39:30

Oh and he did touch you. He pushed past you and you were obviously shouting/distressed or your Mum wouldn't have called the police.

All this in front of your child.

Ilovecaindingle Sun 08-Jan-17 11:40:13

At the time you must have thought it was a necessary step to take. . Maybe slightly rose tinted glasses are making you have doubts now. .

MrsBertBibby Sun 08-Jan-17 12:47:47

He clearly did something, as he wouldn't get a caution unless he admitted criminal conduct.

Sounds to me, though, like a suitable case for him ti give undertakings, rather than you retaining a full blown non mol.

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