Advice please

[user1468016052]

Hi mums,

Caution- long post

Can I get some advice for my friend please? She is a mother of two who has been seperated for all intents and from her husband for well over a year. It started when they bought a house, she poured lots of savings etc in and he made a single, minimal contribution to the deposit and disappeared. Fast forward a few months and they agreed he could move into one of the childrens rooms. After this he has continued to float in and out of their lives. He contributes to the mortgage but does not pay for anything related to the children( even the basics) and doesn't contribute to the rent.

Over the last few months he has become increasingly aggressive and send multiple messages daily calling her a crap mum and being verbally abusive. He has threatened to take the kids away for the entire summer holidays and won't 'authorise' their trip abroad.

He is threatening to get full custody because my friend works full time and has an au pair ( that he doesn't pay for at all) and accuses her of not being there for her children.

He has now told her she has to move out of her room and that is putting their house on the market. In addition he thinks he is entitled to half of her assests even though he has barely contributed to them.

He is extremely controlling and talks to her in a demeaning way. It is breaking my friends morale and she doesn't know where to start. Does any one know what her rights are and how she can protect herself? Is he entitled to anything?

Thanks in advance!

[IceMaiden73]

she needs to see a solicitor ASAP

[MrsBertBibby]

Her HA should have a DV officer, can she get some support there?

He cannot sell the house without her consent, and quite probably has to sell to the HA.

She needs to get advice from a solicitor, she may be able to get legal aid for the DV bits. Find a legal aid solicitor pronto.

[user1468016052]

Thank you for the info ladies. I will pass it on to her.

[Tiggeryoubastard]

How can he contribute to the rent if they bought the house? And MrsBert what on earth are you talking about?

[MrsBertBibby]

If she pays both rent and mortgage, it's a housing association shared ownership home, therefore she should be able to access the support HAs give their tenants.

And it is often the case that shared ownership homes have to be offered back to the HA to buy back, before they can be sold on the open market.

[user1468016052]

Hi , no they both pay for the mortgage ( although there are times when he doesn't despite a my friend paying more than half by direct debit. She then ends up paying the full.
amount. No housing authority is involved at all. She then pays for all the bills, the childrens childcare ( he feels it is not his concern) and for their food and clothes. He refuses to contribute but eats amd wastes electricty etc....
They used to live together in a house my friend bought with a family member. Now her husband wants to claim part of that too even though the got married after the fact.

He doesn't like the fact she works but won't financially support her... It is so frustating to watch... She is like a sister to me.

[MrsBertBibby]

You really aren't going to be able to get any detailed advice on here worth having, beyond the advice that she see a solicitor, about the whole situation. Kids, divorce, money, and domestic abuse.

[BeckyMcDonald]

Honestly, yes, he could have a claim on the lot. She really, urgently, needs to see a solicitor.

[user1468016052]

Okay. Thank you all.