Moving out and not contributing to mortgage?

[garlicbreathing]

Since the breakdown of my (very short) marriage three months ago, my STBXH and I have been trying to sort out what we are doing with our flat.
There has been a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, but it's now looking like we will be selling up, he had been due to buy me out but due to Brexit, he doesn't consider this a wise decision any longer.

Ex left the flat 2 and a half months ago, and I remained. He had been responsible for the mortgage and main bills on the flat since it was purchased three years ago, and I was responsible for other things (car payment, insurance, groceries, flat maintenance). Since he left, I had been paying him some money towards the flat, minus car expenses.

He now wants to live back in the flat. When the plan was to buy me out, the plan was for me to leave this weekend to move back in with my parents and he would have paid me my share of the equity at the end of july when his mortgage went through, so I would not have been liable to pay for any costs of upkeep to the flat as I was signing it over to him. However, as this plan has now changed, he still wants me to move out. I am happy to move out, but my only concern is that I won't be able to pay the costs for living with my parents (I will be paying money towards living in their house), paying the full car costs and paying for the share of the mortgage on the flat I own with ex. He has said I don't need to pay, however I feel that down the line he could argue that I'm not entitled to 50% of the equity.

I have asked for him to put it in writing that as a condition of me moving out, I won't be held liable for the share of the mortgage and this won't affect my share of the equity. He got very angry at this and accused me of thinking that he is trying to cheat me. But I am considering that the flat might not sell for a long time, and he might start to resent the fact he is solely responsible and I will still be gaining from it. Is it possible that he could argue that I haven't been paying so shouldn't therefore be entitled to 50%? And would having something written help prevent this?

Thanks so much for any advice and I apologise if it was so long (I didn't want to miss out anything important)!

[garlicbreathing]

If this is likely that I will be getting screwed over, then I'll just need to keep paying towards the costs of the mortgage and bills and stay living here, which he will be very unhappy about (and I think it will make things very, very awkward).

I am trying to avoid any possible confrontation but still be left in a position where I can get my life back on track.

[WellDoYaPunks]

I'm not an expert but no I don't think so. I'm staying in my house, paying the mortgage until my youngest is 18. I'll then have to either buy ex out or sell & split 50:50

[Lonecatwithkitten]

Get legal advice - leaving before finances are sorted can reduce what you get as you have shown you can house yourself adequately.
I have a friend who lost out massively be moving out before finances are sorted.

[LordEmsworth]

I don't think him saying you're not liable for the mortgage would be legally binding - if both your names are on the mortgage, you are both equally liable for the full amount and if he defaults, the mortgage company will come after you as much as him. So I don't think your plan protects you really...

[redhat]

If he doesn't pay, you have to pay. And all of the payment, not half. You are jointly liable for the debt.

[Dozer]

I wouldn't move out before getting legal advice.

[garlicbreathing]

I know that the mortgage company would still require payment and I would be liablw but he is not going to stop paying. He won't risk his credit rating. But if I leave, would I still get 50% or could he then successfully argue that I should get less because I haven't paid as much as him? Or because we're married it's 50% regardless?

[gettingtogreat]

I have prior interest/experience in this situation, unfortunately.

Let's say there's a couple, Bob and Ellie. When they lived together they paid half each (or the equivalent of it). Then Ellie moves out and Bob remains, and he pays 100% of the mortgage with Ellie contributing nothing.

Then the courts look upon it as: Bob is paying 100%, but this is 50% as his share of the mortgage, and the other 50% is looked upon as as 'rent' to Ellie, as he is getting to live in the house all by himself, while she is not able to 'enjoy' use of the house.

So even though Bob is paying 100% of the mortgage, if Ellie isn't living there she is still entitled to half of the proceeds, because it's looked upon as Bob is paying the second 50% of the mortgage in lieu of rent to Ellie.

[gettingtogreat]

I hope that makes sense. In my situation, Bob and Ellie weren't married.

[Dontanalyseit]

Yes get legal advice before you move out.

My ex left and I have been paying the mortgage and all bills. In the divorce settlement he didn't do as well as he wanted and the fact he was not contributing was taken into account (my case went to court as we could not agree.)

But everyone's situation is different so you need advice. I think your original plan was a good one and it's not your fault his plans have changed so don't rush to move out yet. Its good to be amicable but not at the cost of you losing out financially.

[garlicbreathing]

Thanks getting that is very helpful.

I have already sought legal advice, but it was in regards to when the plan was for him to buy me out. The solicitor I seen was very pushy and keen for me to 'take charge' so to speak, but this would have really affected things badly with my ex and myself, as well as charging me a lot of money to do this. We are trying to be civil to each other and to sort this ourselves, but I can't afford to end up with nothing.

I am hoping the flat will be able to sell quickly. I fear there will only be issues if it doesn't sell and he is left paying a mortgage on the property for a long time of which I will then be benefiting from at the end of the line when it does eventually sell.

[garlicbreathing]

My issue if I choose not to move out is then going to be my ex moving back in too, and I don't think we will be able to stay amicable if we are both back under the same roof. I have also made arrangements for moving this weekend. I have already completed a lot of packing, which I will then need to go through the laborious task of unpacking. It would be easier just to go ahead with the move, so I'm trying to protect myself in case the situation again changes and he decides he should be entitled to more, which I understand. He's claiming that it won't happen, but in his situation, I think I would be fighting for more.

[aginghippy]

If you weren't comfortable with the solicitor you saw before, find another solicitor. You are not going to get the detailed advice you need from an anonymous internet forum.

I agree with pp that it's good to be amicable, if possible, but not at the cost of you losing out financially.

[Dozer]

It was a hasty decision to move out before legal advice, but you could get the advice quickly.

[Girlgonewild]

1. Ignore any advice abouve which applies to unmarried couples as the law is totally different. If you are married it is not a question of who paid in what. In fact even if one person never worked in their life, never did a thing and the house wasn't in their name they still might be entiteld to half of it if they are married (and utterly different if they are not married).
   

1. Things like whether you have a child matter on divorce law.
   

1. If you move uot you are housed aty our parents so may get less in a divorce settlement. Possession is 9.10ths of the law as they say. I would not move out and instead if you are planning to sell I would get the house sold ASAP even at auction if you have to. Move out when the sale completes.

[garlicbreathing]

Ok thanks for the advice . I've decided that it might not be worth it in the long run, so I wilk just pay half the mortgage and hope it's not for very long.

[MargaretRiver]

You should also think about what should happen if the value of the flat goes down after you move out
Also what to do if the mortgage rates go up by a huge amount

[MargaretRiver]

I mean he has already said he doesn't want to sell due to Brexit, implying that he thinks prices will fall, at least for a short while
What if he decides not to sell while prices continue to fall
He could wait until all the equity has gone and you get nothing, although he's enjoyed living in the flat all that time.
It could even go inn negative equity and you'd need to pay him when he sold it
(Old timer here, witnessed relationship breakdowns in the late 80s / early 90s when both of these things happened to several friends)