What are my rights - stbxh in hospital

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Have c&p this from my post in relationships. If I need to add any other info or explain anything further just say. If I started writing then I'm not sure I would stop!


Just looking for advice really.

Was reading a different thread think it turned out to be a troll about what someone is entitled to after divorce. The advice scared me. Slightly different for me as stbxh and I have 2 children together. But the house was all his. The house was sold (repossession) but there is still £160k floating around somewhere. He doesn't have it (he is in hospital), I don't have it (my name not on anything) I have spoken to a few solicitors with the free half hours but they can't say much apart from it will cost me £2-£5k to go down this process of a financial settlement. I don't have that money. I don't have the £500fora divorce. I don't receive maintenance from ex. He is voluntarily in a psychiatric unit - has been for 3 years this march.

This sounds awful I know. I am struggling to separate the emotion from everything.

Can anyone suggest where I go from here or what I do?

Thanks

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

shameless bump

[PeachFuzzzz]

I don't know. Citizens advice bureau?

[Marilynsbigsister]

Were you married when the house was sold op ? It makes one hell of a difference ?

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Yes we were. Met in 2003. Dd born in2005. Married 2008. Ds born 2010. H sectioned 2013 (appealed after a week successfully but remained in voluntarily since) House repossessed 2014.

[GrannyGrott]

Op - what a difficult situation for you. If your STBX was sectioned in 2013, who acted on his behalf regarding the repossession in 2014? Are you sure the £160k isn't sitting in his bank account?

[gallicgirl]

I once had a customer whose house had been repossessed after he handed keys to bank and walked away from it.
The bank sold it and there was a significant excess. Unfortunately this man had not told the bank where he'd moved to and they couldn't trace him so the money sat in a holding account at the bank for a couple of years until he got in touch with them.
Could that possibly be the situation in this scenario?

[SweetieXPie]

I would def seek the advice of Citizens Advice Bureau.
I used to work in conveyancing. If the property was repossessed, the mortgage would have obviously been paid off, you often find with repossessions that other debts have gone unpaid, the creditors will place a charge on the house, meaning the solicitor who acted in the house sale would have had to get redemption statements and pay those debts off too, as well as the extra penalties imposed by the bank that took possession.
Do you know for sure there would have been £160k left after sale of property once mortgage and other debts were paid off?
Do you have the name of the solicitors that acted for him in the sale?
Get as much paperwork together as you can in relation to the house as well as any proof you have you were living there, ie bills, mobile phone, council tax etc and make an appointment with your local citizens advice bureau.
If you don't know who acted for him, search through sold properties on right move or other house selling sites (it may still be in the history on their sites) and that will at least give you the name of the estate agent that sold it, they are not supposed to give out too much information on which solicitors acted but you never know, you may get someone inexperienced answer the phone. Every little detail helps.
Good Luck xxx

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Thanks for your responses. There are no other debts. I know the Estate Agent who sold the house and who the mortgage was with. I have spoken to both who were very helpful but obviously could only give me limited information or talk hypothetically. I don;t know who the solicitors are.
I have no paperwork to prove that I lived there but could get some, I hope, via council tax records, water bill. I have looked online and found the sale price which the estate agent confirmed. The mortgage lender said in the situation where the house owner couldn't be located the equity would be lodged with solicitors. But obviously I don't know who they are.

[LIZS]

Can't believe the ea would let have know which solicitor was used. Land registry may be able to trace who lodged the deed transfer. Did you jointly own the property , in which case you'd have signed a contract and mortgage forms.

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

No we didn't jointly own the property. Stbxh moved into my home and rented his house out. As our family grew we moved into his house. Even when we moved he kept it all in his name against my protests

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Sorry I mean we moved into his house, lived there for 5 years then sold up and moved again.

[Pigeonpost]

Is anyone acting on your XH's behalf under a Court of Protection appointment? Perhaps one of his parents/other family members?

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Pigeon His parents are dead. The last contact with his only sibling ended with BIL saying I had sold the house from under stbxh. Not true. The brother blames me and, if I am being really honest, I blame him to a certain extent. Me andt he 3 dc were on our knees in the months leading up to stbxh going into hospital. We had the crisis team out every day, the gp called out every other day, the police called when stbxh assaulted me infront of our then 2 year old. BIL refused to help. I have tried to call him, left messages on his answerphone, he hasn't replied.

[fastdaytears]

If he doesn't have capacity then someone can apply to the Court of Protection to be his Deputy and will then be able to find out where all this money is, but that costs around £700 plus court fees of another £500 ish, and he hasn't necessarily lost capacity just because he's an in-patient

[fastdaytears]

So did you own your property and he owned his? Were they similar values? Do you still have your property or was that sold when you moved into his?

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

I thought because he successfully appealed against his sectioning that mean he had capacity? I am completely lost as to how to proceed.

[fastdaytears]

Well at that point he probably did, but that was some time ago.

I'm so sorry you're in the position. It must be so hard for you and the children.

Everything I can think of for you to do costs money you don't have, and there's no guarantee of getting anything at the end.

Is your ex's condition likely to improve any time soon?

[fastdaytears]

Just to say though, the fact that you have DC makes your situation very different to on that troll thread so don't let that worry you.

[ditherydora]

Are you on a low income or benefits? I think you might be entitled to get help with court fees. I am assuming you won't get much legal aid help so suggest you try citizens advice or see if there is a free legal advice service you can use. I used to advise at one and they can be quite good. You need to take any relevant paperwork with you though if you go.

Seems to me you could either apply for the court of protection order or the divorce. If you have a protection order you will need to act in the best interests of your husband and that will be impossible if you are trying to divorce him. I think you need to establish if he has capacity to manage his affairs or not. If not, then I am guessing the court will appoint someone to represent his interests if you do file for divorce.

It is very complicated though and you'll need specialist advice I think.

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Thanks again. No idea if his condition will improve. Last I was told was his diagnosis was possibly psychotic depression. That is what he was diagnosed with and hospitalised with before we met.

Yes I am on benefits

Spoken to my best friend. We have talked about whether we should just go up and see him. Ask him what he knows. Not sure if that is a good idea or not. He will ask about the dc. I don't know what to tell him.

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Um yes I have suffered from the effects (affects? I never get it right) I have had a lot of support from SS, the dcs schools, and my hv. Whether that can be attributed to my marriage or my upbringing I don't know and deep down I feel it would be unfair to lay the blame on stbxh.

I don't know whether to speak to stbxh directly or try again with his named nurse or brother.

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

*solely on stbxh that should say

[NoInspirationForNewNC]

Urgh my dad just phoned. He said "You can't even have a straight forward divorce. Everything is a drama with you" Feel shit. I don't give a shit about a settlement. But ds1 (his dad died) will inherit when he turns 18 quite a lot of money which will help with uni etc. My 2 dc will get no help and I don't know how to make it right.