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Legal matters

Anyone divorced for unreasonable behaviour?

19 replies

MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/07/2015 16:43

ExH and I separated 4 months ago. Originally I had planned to wait 2 years before divorcing but ex is bring obstructive when it comes to mediation and sorting out finances; my solicitor has advised me to go for a divorce now.

I don't really know what to say about unreasonable behaviour as although his behaviour led me to have a breakdown, it's hard to quantify exactly what he did to cause it. There was no abuse as such.

Can anyone help?

OP posts:

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FreckledLeopard · 16/07/2015 16:46

You can be pretty vague and generic. I divorced my ex for unreasonable behaviour and it was along the lines of:

Didn't support me when my mother was ill
Didn't help with housework or childcare
Was financially irresponsible

Google it and you can come up with lots of vague terms.

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Bellemere · 16/07/2015 17:46

Mine was equally vague -
He worked extremely long hours and was rarely at home
He caused anxiety by overspending and leaving no money for food
He criticised my domestic skills
He was did not provide emotional support
He was overly critical ...

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Bellemere · 16/07/2015 17:46

We agreed between us what to put.

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Elledouble · 16/07/2015 17:50

My partner was divorced by his ex-wife for staying out late and withdrawing affection - obviously there was more to it than that but everyone lies on their divorce petition anyway.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/07/2015 18:15

Thanks. I'm just a bit wary as I'm fairly sure ex will contest it, so I have to be very careful. It's good to know you can be vague though, I thought you had to give very specific examples.

OP posts:

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Bellemere · 16/07/2015 19:34

His solicitor will tell him in no uncertain terms that contesting it is a waste of time.

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traviata · 16/07/2015 19:39

less is more.

there is no mileage at all in putting things which get his back up and make him want to contest it.

Bellemere's list above looks promising - can you adapt that?

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/07/2015 21:00

Well a few things I've got are:

He only contributed half his salary to 'housekeeping' and would never account for the rest

He kept things to do with the legal side of our house from me and discussed it with his parents but not me

His constantly being late for work was a contributing factor to him being made redundant from his previous job, but he still wouldn't get up for work on time

He refused to sell unused possessions when we needed the money

When I asked him to leave he refused and forced me and our children to find somewhere else to live

OP posts:

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 17/07/2015 16:09

Hopeful bump. Also I feel he didn't support me when I was having a breakdown and was on the point of being admitted to hospital.

OP posts:

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babybarrister · 18/07/2015 09:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gatewalker · 18/07/2015 10:23

Those are enough grounds for unreasonable behaviour. Yes, three particulars, and you don't need to include the part about his parents: keep it between you and him.

Best of luck, OP.

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/07/2015 12:03

Just heard from my solicitor, the fucking cuntweasel beat me to it and is issuing his own petition. I've yet to find out what unreasonable behaviour he is citing, but my solicitor has advised me to not contest it but not accept blame either. Arse!

OP posts:

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Penfold007 · 21/07/2015 14:07

OP I get why you are annoyed but look at this way - you get what you want.

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designerPixie · 21/07/2015 17:07

I really feel Penfold007 is totally correct, surely you have got what you want?! I think I read on another thread that you might have had said you have some issues with depression and have self harmed in front of your toddlers? is that correct or was it someone else? would you ex be aware of this at all? I am just worried that that might constitute unreasonable behaviour, but I am an accountant not a lawyer! so feel free to ignore me :) hope it works out ok

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RandomMess · 21/07/2015 17:13

I think you need to be careful in case it means you have to pay the fees?

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Penfold007 · 21/07/2015 17:52

Sadly it does mean that the OP may be faced with paying both sides costs and it does mean the other side can hold things up. Something to discuss with your legal team.

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designerPixie · 21/07/2015 19:09

Really useful information for the OP I am sure Penfold, sounds like it should be heeded. I apologise if I have acccidentally 'scared you away' OP , but I do lurk and read many threads on Mumsnet, particularly on mental health issues. I too have issues in that area at times. I am afraid I have the sort of accountant's mind that cross references threads and remembers names that stick out such as yours! always makes me smile :) Do take care.

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RandomMess · 21/07/2015 19:53

You can contest his reasons for divorce and present your own - again something to discuss with your solicitor/legal team.

Good luck

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MyGastIsFlabbered · 22/07/2015 07:42

Yes that was me. He will use my MH issues as the unreasonable behaviour I'm sure, that's how much of a scumbag he is. My solicitor has replied saying he already has a statement of fact showing unreasonable behaviour from me, but we will wait to see his draft. He also said that I won't contest it as long as he doesn't go for costs from me, and he is never to discuss the divorce with the children. I'm pleased to be getting divorced but am very worried his family will tell the boys all the gory details.