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Domestic Verbal Abuse - what proof is needed for divorce

(5 Posts)
bella1968 Mon 10-Mar-14 15:13:30

I've been reading the threads for a week now and wondered if anyone has any advise regarding divorcing someone for reasons of Domestic Verbal abuse? I would like to know what proof I need and does it have to go to court.

We have two children and a house and I'm very worried that we will lose the house or can we keep it at least until the children have finished school or when I can pay him back for his share?? We have quite a few debts at the moment also and I'm very worried because the 2 larger loans are in my name as he couldn't get credit at the time due to not being in a job very long.

If you need further information to advise let me know, any advice would be extremely appreciated.


STIDW Mon 10-Mar-14 22:30:35

The law is different in the constituent parts of the UK and we need to know whether you live in England & Wales, NI or Scotland to answer.

bella1968 Mon 10-Mar-14 23:18:52

Sorry, I live in London.

STIDW Tue 11-Mar-14 00:41:08

In that case you need about 4-6 reasons for an unreasonable petition. Usual ones include things like spending too much time playing computer games/working/watching TV/socialising, financial irresponsibility, not helping with the chores and lack of intimacy. You can say he is verbally abusive, include an example on a certain date during the last six months before you separated and say how you feel. The aim should be not to inflame the situation more than necessary because it makes negotiating arrangements for children and a financial settlement more difficult.

The finances depend on the overall circumstances - the value of any assets (including pensions) and liabilities held in sole and joint names, your respective incomes, ages, duration of your relationship, the number of children, their ages and the number of nights they stay with each parent. The priority is the welfare of dependent children in particular meeting their need for adequate housing but sometimes the former matrimonial home has to be sold to release equity to enable both spouses to rehouse.

You really need independent advice from a family solicitor. The divorce itself isn't too difficult to do yourself, but it can be a false economy if you have to amend the petition. As far as the finances are concerned finding out where you stand and what options there are in your particular circumstances would mean you could negotiate from an informed position. That applies even if you decide to try and reach an agreement between yourselves.

Some family solicitors offer a free first appointment so they can go through the general procedure and you can decide if you want to instruct them. You won't get a detailed analysis at a first appointment but you can check out things such as options for paying the solicitor. If your situation isn't too complicated and you can't raise the money to pay the solicitor an online service is another option. Alternatively CAB may be able to signpost free services e.g. local law clinics.

HOpe that helps.

bella1968 Tue 11-Mar-14 16:16:10

thanks STIDW that helps alot. I should say it should be easy to file then in that case: 1. shouting, 2. swearing at me and kids, 3. name calling, 4. watches tv and play ipad all the time, 5. won't sign on or get a supermarket job, has to be the one!

I've asked some questions to a solicitor through my support worker the other day so hopefully I may get some more specific advise regarding my case.

I do need to speak to someone regarding our financial situation, however as I am very concerned that an agreement may not be able to be reached informally.

Thanks again for your advice.

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