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Lies at work and threats over contact - help?

(5 Posts)
Popplecake Fri 07-Feb-14 14:22:45

I'm so upset about my situation and am desperate for some advice on what others might do in a similar situation. I have posted on here in the past under a changed name.

I am currenty in legal stuff about contact with my ex. He's been offered supervised access because of his drug problems. I rang children's services and they said they support this and would be concerned about a heavy drug user looking after a very young child on their own.

The twist with this is that we work in the same place but I'm on leave. And as you might have guessed, my ex (classic narcissist) is playing the poor dad desperate to see his child and I am "witholding his child", so he has to "force contact through the courts". I have banned him from contacting me via my solicitor but am now receving thinly disguised anonymous threatening letters from "a mutual friend at work", saying that I am vindictive "witholding contact" and people are talking about me at work and saying how evil I am" and that I had better wach my step as my "cruel actions" will "threaten my goals and aspirations".

Obviously I am going to take this to my manager, as it is my ex spreading lies. My one concern is that I planned to take all the letters with me to prove the lies (because I checked our workplace policy and malicious lying is actually bullying), however they mention his drug use which the manager does not know about. As far as I know, neither do his colleagues. In fact, everyone thinks he is wonderful.

Do you think I should give my boss the letters? I am scard because if he gets suspended he will go psycho on me and I'll have his whole family/ex on my case sad sad

KissesBreakingWave Fri 07-Feb-14 14:28:53

Yes, you should. If he didn't want the drug use known, he wouldn't have used it in the context of workplace harrassment that you would be required to raise with management. Basically, he's decided to publish, not you.

tiredoutgran Fri 07-Feb-14 14:35:55

I don't really think you have any choice. You could try speaking to the manager without the letters and see if that works, you could say that you have evidence to prove that they are lies but would prefer not to put that forward if possible and the matter be dealt with. If there were any problems with that then I wouldn't hesitate, he has brought it into the workplace not you and you have a right to not be bullied and harassed because of his lies. If there is any comeback from him/family simply be straight, you were being harassed at work because of his lies and had to put a stop to it. He should have kept his mouth shut if he didn't want the truth out there.

Bonsoir Fri 07-Feb-14 14:38:10

Yes, you must defend yourself. Your ex is being very stupid.

Popplecake Fri 07-Feb-14 16:09:36

It seems I've done right thing from start to finish and he is using his popularity at work to stir up lies and crap. Am sick with anxiety about the meeting - why he had to bring this into the workplace is beyond me. He is a classic narcissist though and feels he can do anything and is untouchable. Everyone at work thinks he is lovely though, so I expect even the truth will make me look bad.

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