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Swimming Lessons & Recorded phone conversations

(29 Posts)
rubin Sat 02-Nov-13 11:46:22


Just seeking some advice on 2 matters or if anyone else has been in these positions I would welcome any advice!:

1) My children's father has refused to bring them to their swimming lessons when they are staying with him. Both children have swimming lessons with the local council every Saturday morning during term time. The children are 5 yr old & adore the lessons & doing so well! They stay with their father every 3 wks or so & he has suddenly just decided that he wont bring them. These lessons have an 8 mth waiting list & if the children are not attending regularly they will be taken out of the system. I cannot understand why anyone would refuse their child a swimming lesson. I have paid for them & even offered to transport them all to/from the swimming pool so that he doesn't have to pay for anything. It is clear he is doing this simply to spite me but it is also clear how detrimental it is to the children. Not only are they missing out on a great opportunity but it will also psychologically affect them when they start to realise that their father refuses to bring them swimming. Is there anything I can do to enforce this without going the court route? I can't afford to spend any more money on legal fees ... Could I get a letter from my Health Visitor to try & convince him?? Has anyone been in this situation before. I don't want to let it lie as I feel so strongly that it is in the children's best interests. Furthermore, what is he going to do when they start other curricular activities like football, rugby,music, etc...

2) The children's father is always moaning that the children do not hold a proper conversation with him on the phone & naturally it's all my fault! This has been going on for 3 yrs & anytime they don't speak to him for a long time he goes mad & I get a load of abuse. He is now threatening that he records all phone conversations & has evidence that I interfere with their phone contact with him & that this evidence is being presented before the court, etc. I can't imagine a court wanting to get involved in anything like this & I know that I don't 'interfere' with their phone conversations. However he is driving me mad with these constant threats. What is the legal ruling on recording private conversations & giving to a 3rd party?? Is that legal? I'd love to be able to go back to him with some facts to shut him up!

JustMe1993 Tue 05-Nov-13 10:15:09

The children are 5, the thing is give a young child a phone and soon enough they're going to get bored and find something else to do instead.

Why don't you say you will answer the phone and pass it to DC you will not interfere even if they leave the phone to do something else. That way if they're on the phone for 5 minutes before leaving it on the floor to go play with a toy he's left with either hanging up or listening to background noise.

lostdad Tue 05-Nov-13 10:26:08

No he doesn't. Data Protection rules regulate organisations, not individuals. It is legal for a private conversation between two private individuals to be recorded so long as one of them knows it is happening.

If he was calling on behalf of an organisation he would need prior permission however. Clam says it proves nothing either way. I would advise the OP to ignore him. He's simply trying to wind her up.

starlight1234 Fri 08-Nov-13 22:10:22

Sadly there is nothing you can do about the swimming lessons and would talk to them about the fact you are unable to get them there every week...It is sad your kids are missing out ..

The phencalls...Most kids don't chat well on phone. I would not say a word ..let the kids talk to him..if he starts been abusive tell him it is time to end the conversation...I am sure he isn't going to record himself been abusive...

You can refuse contact except through text or email...then you have it all as evidence

flossieflower Fri 08-Nov-13 22:18:15

Could you change the phonecalls to a Skype or Facetime contact? Then he could see that a) you aren't in the background and b) that if they aren't talking it's because they're wandering off to play, not because you're taking them away? They might be more engaged with it at that age if they can see as well as hear.

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