Xh abusive, left when he was physically abusive to dd1, 3.5years ago.
Contact order in place, for unsupervised (which I argued was not good at the time). Ch has 7h every other sat. He has also signed an undertaking for not drinking during contact or for the 24h preceding, and to not drive the dc. He regularly breaks the not drinking during contact the children tell me how they have to stand outside the offie while he goes in to get tins of beer.
Camhs have assessed ds(8) and are referring to ss as they believe the contact is causing all his current problems- behavioural and sleep disturbances, at home and at school.
On the last weekend xh contacted child protection claiming dd2 (4) had made an allegation against dss(9) and the children ended up coming home with the police- again. Dss was upset because he'd been told they were sleeping over at xh's as soon as he'd picked them up, and when he said he wanted to go home he was told he wasn't. Dss is now very very wobbly emotionally and saying he's really scared of his dad, but when I reminded him that he can hold my hand and say he's not going he had a meltdown saying that he can't it's too scarey.
I really really want to put a stop to contact until ss have looked at the situation for all 3 dc's but especially for ds, it's affecting every aspect of his behaviour, how can I go about it? Next contact is the 5th Jan.
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Legal matters
Ds scared of his father, but too scared to say he doesn't want to go. There is a contact order in place, help!
Readyisknitting · 28/12/2012 11:54
Can't afford a sol, when I moved in with dp I knew if it came to this I'd have to self rep. We have a tight budget, and very little left at the end of the month, and finding the court fee is challenging. We are just above the threshold for any remission on the fees.
Cafcass were involved. Their assessment was a half hour seeing the kids and the xh in a room, and very much was on the fence. They recommended a finding of fact to establish abuse had taken place. There were several inaccuracies in their report, and as I kept raising, how can a controlled environment for half an hour replicate how xh behaves to them for a longer period? I have no evidence of his breaking the undertaking, only the children's say so.
Wrt to the holiday issue, ds has already asked if he can come to court with me to hear the judge say whether he (ds) can go to france.
I will be spending the 2nd chasing/ harassing ss trying to get them to intervene before the sat, and also trying to get hold of the new worker at CAMHS (last one has just left). For the 5th, if I don't succeed, I have no idea what I'll do. It's not just ds, there's the dd's- 6 and 4. dd2 has wandered off from the cinema to the market and been brought back to xh by a stranger, again, the kids have told me this, apparently at the time they had to hang around while xh had "another cigarette"
I'm very tempted to say that because ss are getting involved it is best that contact does not take place, but again, not sure if that will be read as obstructive. I'd offer half an hour in a coffee shop, but xh would spend it being verbally abusive, lots of little digs, that harm the kids to hear. It such a dilemma, because ds needs me to protect him, he has witnessed so much 
. however because the court decided a finding of fact was not necessary it all remains allegations, and because I feel I have to maintain the moral high ground, and act within the legal constraints I have been given, I feel my hands are tied.
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