What happens if ex defends divorce?

[butterflybee]

Hello all,

I'm thinking about applying for divorce and wanted to know a little more about the process. It would be under unreasonable behaviour, I've got plenty of grounds and I have a sneaking suspicion my ex would defend it.

Could anyone explain to me what would happen in that case? Would it become a court matter, and would it be something I could represent myself for?

I'm not too fussed on the timing of the finale paperwork, but do want to make it clear I'm no longer his wife and give him a bit of a push to get me off the mortgage / pay me my share of equity on the house. I think I would use legal representation for that bit, though..

[mumblechum1]

Firstly, it's best to send him a draft of the petition before it goes to court so he has the chance to ask you to take out bits which he feels particularly strongly about. your solicitor will put in sufficient padding to be able to take a few paras out so your husband feels like he's won something.

If he wants to defend it after it has been lodged at court he has to file an answer and cross petition. It's never worth arguing whose fault it is that the marriage broke down so you'd probably end up agreeing either to amend your petition or accept his as long as he gets on with it. The costs of having a defended petition would be ridiculously high and it would take forever. In 25 years of practice Ihave never let a client go down that road.

Otherwise what often happens is that the respondent moans about the allegations but lets it go through anyway. He'll receive an acknowledgement of service form and his solicitor will advise him to agree to the divorce but say he doesn't accept all your allegations.

So the short answer is, send him a draft petition, give him 14 days to let you know if he want s to change anything and take it from there.

[MOSagain]

Agree with Mumbles as usual

[StiffyByng]

My husband's ex-wife was deranged and defended his petition. As she was on legal aid, she realised very quickly she was on a bad course. In the end, they agreed to cross petition and amended each other's.

The only use she made of him sending his draft across was to rush to petition herself. She ended up filing later on the same day as him so missed out. Still rather that her publicly funded legal team let her do that but I expect they were scared of her.

[Spero]

In 15 years I have had ONE court hearing re defended divorce. It is, of course, utter madness and generally means there's a lot of bitterness and anger floating about.

As mumble says, a lot of this bitterness can be stoked/created by the way the petition is drafted so you may have to try to tread a fine line between making it serious enough to justify divorce without being so awful theother side feels they have to defend.