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Husband refuses to pay half of the bills(24 Posts)
Found out over the hols that H was having an affair that he's denied all last year and he's been moved out to his mum's (OW is still with her hsuband - although H expecting her to move in with him once he gets a place)
Met him last night to discuss access for our 7 year old DD and finances - he will agree to pay half the mortgage but not half the utilities bill or council tax until the house is sold.
I don't want to have to go to the solicitor with questions as each question costs money and thought that with all the experience on here someone would be in the know?
Do I have a leg to stand on? Can I make him pay half?
There has also been nothing mentioned about maintenance .. he is planning on having DD 3 nights a week once he has his own place but thatis not the case just now
It depends on lots of things - including the incomes and expenditure of both of you. I presume you are aware of how the CSA calculates maintenance. This is the minumum you should expect, although if you go to the CSA he'll probably stop paying towards the mortgage.
If you want proper advice you can rely on you should bite the bullet and instruct a solicitor properly.
After yesterday's threads mentioning £21k lawyers bills I'm terrified of going through the lawyer - when I spoke to her last week she was very vague about costs and kept mentioning if he doesn't like it he can take us to court!
Legally, he is now only liable for:
Maintenance for child(ren)
Insurance Policy regarding the house
He is not liable for Council Tax... he no longer lives there. He is no longer liable for 50% of the bills... he no longer lives there.
Strangely enough i had a similar case to this several months ago where mum was actually stopping children seeing Dad until he agreed to pay Council Tax and half her Mortgage (she'd had property signed over solely to her plus money in the bank).
Much like this case it amazes me he thinks he owes you for your living!
The thing about mortgages in these circs is that technically you are both liable to pay all of the mortgage (not half each), however often the person who's left the property won't pay anything because they don't have the benefit of occupation of the property, and is usually paying rent for somewhere else.
Perhaps if you have a long term plan about what will happen with the house it will help to move forward. So if you agree that the house should be sold, and I'm not saying whether it should or not, he may be more amenable to paying half of the mortgage until it does sell, as it's only for a fairly short time.
So far as utilities etc go, though, usually the person living in the fmh will pay those in full. Remember to apply for a reduction in your council tax.
In addition to child mtc under the CSA formula, you may be able to get some spousal mtce (which will help meet your outgoings) but this depends on whether there is a clear shortfall between your income and outgoings, and a clear excess on his. This is often not the case when the couple are keeping two properties on the go.
I echo what Collaborate is saying about going back to your solicitor to start making some progress, even if it's just getting the petition filed and both of you completing your Forms E. The longer things go on without anything official happening, the more likely it is that your mortgage will get into arrears ime.
You are entitled to clain 25% reduction in council tax for single occupancy.
The best way to keep your costs down is to go into every meeting or phone call with a specific list of questions or issues, and don't whatever you do, start telling her all the ins and outs of his behaviour/the affair etc. Save that sort of stuff for having a drink with your friends - they're not charging you by the minute.
All your solicitor needs to know about the breakdown of the marriage is the absolute bare facts ie when you found out, when you think it started and whether it's continuing.
I know this sounds harsh but have had clients in the past complaining about huge bills which have been run up by them phoning me at length about every little quarrel. Make every minute with your solicitor worth the money you're paying.
@Riakin - I can understand completely what you are saying - but I wouldn't have chosen to live in the house that I am living in or to have the council tax bill that I have without having another person contribute.
If it had been a roommate they would have had to have given notice of leaving ...
I do not expect him to owe me for my living .. in fact far from it.. but I'd like to make sure I was getting what I am entitled to.
My solicitor at the initial meeting last week mentioned sending a letter saying that he would be expected to pay ALL of the bills in full and that he would then get his own solicitor to offer half so I took from that that I should be entitled to half.
To me that would just be setting a war of letters between solicitors which is the last thing that I want
If he is paying half the mortgage does that mean he no longer has to pay maintenance if that amount is less than what he is paying?
I am in a similar situation - husband has moved out - kids and I are still living in the family home (and hoping to stay there longer term and buy him out).
It is quite a new situation, so he suggested, and I agreed for now, that he would contribute maintenance calculated at standard rate, and half of the mortgage.
I am unsure whether he 'should' be contributing to the mortgage, although sounds like he should from posts here (and he is). If anyone can comment, it would be appreciated.
For now, the mortage and house are still in joint names, we have a repayment mortage and so are increasing the equity in the house (by knocking down the mortgage) so until we figure out calculations for splitting the equity, then I guess it makes sense for him to be paying half of the repayments.
For the solicitors if you wouldn't mind commenting - would him paying half now, have any impact on any future division of equity?
Anyway, for the OP - I am going to be paying all the bills, as it's me and the kids using the energy/council services etc, and the maintenance payment contributes towards their living costs.
I can afford this however, if you can't then that is a different situation.
Patsy, it's unlikely that your h paying half the mortgage now will make any difference to the equity so long as that doesn't carry on beyond say 6 to 12 months.
Also, if you're going to try and take the house on (and you don't expect any spouse maintenance) you'll have to pay the mortgage on your own at the end. Count yourself as fortunate that he's paying half the mortgage.
Mumblechum1 and Collaborate - thanks for your replies.
It's kind of the reverse of the OP situation - husband wants to keep paying half, it's me that wonders whether or not he should be! I know it sounds crazy to be questioning the fact that he IS paying. If it doesn't make any difference either way to % splits etc, then I will accept gratiously (if that's how it's spelt).
Don't expect any spousal maintenance - hope to have clean break through equity in the house. I can afford to pay mortage and bills etc on my own, so in the short term it allows me to save a bit more cash to ofset some of that tied up in the house.
Husband is now wanting to switch the mortageg to interest only instead of capital and interest to reduce the costs
Does anyone have a view on this being a wise move?
When a copu;e separate money is nearly always tight. Going to interest only is a sensible thing to do, but it can affect both of your credit ratings.
Thanks Collaborate - that's given me food for thought and a question for the building society
worried, and very confused, my husband has not been providing for his children.He works full time and only comes home once every few weeks, as his job is a distance from home. Tried contacting him many times, but he says he will send money home, which he hasn't done for 3 months now.
I work only part time and had to provide food and pay for all household bills and the mortgage for the past 3 months. I can't carry on doing this, it is getting me very stressed and confused as to what to do next
Tell him you are separarting from him. then you can claim tax credits and CSA maintanance, though see the posts above in case he is currently paying any bills, including the mortgage.
If you don't want to separate from him, then you either have to persuade him to pay something or accept he's not going to pay you anything.
Babybarrister - if you have time, would you mind elaborating? It's only been 1 month since we split the finances so hopefully no damage done so far.
I need the equity split to be as much in my favour as possible to have any hope of retaining the house (will need some help from parents as it is). Lots of equity, much smaller savings (although working on that all the time).
If he contributes to the mortgage as he is insisting, I get to save a bit more, but can afford it without his money. Whoever pays it, the loan is being reduced each month and so the house equity increasing.
Can I tell him he can't pay anything towards it? Only maintenance for the kids? He's just putting 1 lot of money into my account but has calculated it as standard maintenance level + half mortgage.
We have not done anything further with regard to divorce, but I don't want to be shooting myself in the foot.
Thanks for any further help you can give (and sorry for hijacking OPs thread!)
my husband walked out on me a month ago.
ive had to pay a few bills that were in both our names as he cancelled direct debits to all bills that were to things for the house.
some are quarterly bills, surely I shouldn't have to pay all myself? I have claimed benefits I am entilted too, so thats helped. But I am still short and will be for around 2 months now. Cause he cancelled the DD's I have had charges on top too.
whatever ifs paid to the capital [rather than interest] is obviously going to be counted in H's favour. Over a month it is not going to make any difference - you need to get on with the divorce before house prices go up and pay him out asap!
Thanks BabyBarrister - how will it change the actual equity split though?
What would the difference be between:
a) me paying all house bills and mortgage myself and him paying only child maintenance senario
b) him paying half the mortgage on top of child maintenance.
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