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A solicitor is blackmailing me

(58 Posts)
Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 18:59:30

I am getting a divorce. My solicitor is blackmailing me. What can I do?

My ex hit me and I have said to my solicitor that I won't hand over our 4 year old for contact without police presence or protection. My solicitor says that he is scared of me and that if I don't agree then ultimately he will get our 4 year old.

Also all this and earlier unrelated problems made me unwell and I am saw a dr and a psychiatrist for a while. Thats done now and I'm going to a depression help group once per week for about six weeks. Thats it and I have told my solicitor. But my solicitor then writes to me and says that I must see a psychiatrist. But I have already followed the medical advice I have received. The solicitor is impossible.

Also for contact, my ex gets our four year old at Christmas every other year until 30th December but when I have him for Christmas its only until the 26th. So at New year, I have him only from 30th whilst my ex has him from 26th December. I tell my solicitor about this and she just writes to me saying that that is what has been ordered and that I cannot agree anything. I said at the time that is was unfair.

Its blackmail. What can I do?

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sat 22-Oct-11 19:04:54

Change your solicitor?

Go to court to get the judge to rule on contact?

can you explain this though? I don't understand - "My solicitor says that he is scared of me and that if I don't agree then ultimately he will get our 4 year old."

Who is scared of you? your ex? your ex who hit you is scared of you? and no, he is unlikely to get the child.

tbh, it doesn't matter what you said at the time was unfair, you have to abide by what was ordered/agreed

What is stopping you from changing your solicitor?

VivaLeBeaver Sat 22-Oct-11 19:06:04

I don't think it is blackmail, it's just stuff that you don't agree with/not happy to hear.

If you don't think your solicitor is as good as they can be you can get another one.

KreepyInMind Sat 22-Oct-11 19:07:46

Your post makes little sense

VivaLeBeaver Sat 22-Oct-11 19:09:17

If there is some sort of agreement that your ex has whatever contact and you're refusing to abide my that for whatever reason then you solicitor is right to warn you that this could mean custody is given to your ex.

I'm not saying it's likely but I read of that happening. A mum refused to allow her son to see his father so the court awarded custody to the father.

If you are genuinely scared of a violent ex and think he could be a danger to your child then you need to convince a court of this.

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 19:11:14

It's not so easy to change my solicitor. I already paid about £80,000. Now I need to go somewhere else?

It feels like blackmail. Yes, the solicitor says that my ex is scared of me. So its just blackmail telling me that to try to get me to agree to the contact arrangement. Tell me how that is just stuff I don't agree with? I have gone out of my way to agree things during these proceedings and I went out of my way during the marriage for years to provide help and support.

I'm not suggesting I would not abide by what was ordered. I am saying that what was ordered was unfair. Look at the dates. Its unfair.

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 19:12:36

Yes, I would convince a court. I have recordings etc but my solicitor has ignored me. My solicitor should be convincing the court, not me.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 22-Oct-11 19:14:32

Have you told your solicitor this? Is there another solicitor in the same practice you could ask to be transferred to?

80k seems very expensive.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 22-Oct-11 19:15:49

Has your solicitor said why your ex is scared of you?

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 19:17:15

I will ask if there is another solicitor. Thank you. I paid the first £35,000 then when my money ran out my parents have paid. The solicitor now writes to my parents asking for money. The solicitor should have helped me with my position, ie no money help me with legal aid.

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 19:18:21

Because I shouted at him. So apparently that makes him scared. But he damn well assaulted me, he ha da few other problems so I just let it go at the time.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sat 22-Oct-11 19:21:45

eighty THOUSAND POUNDS?! You have incurred 80 grand in legal costs?

Bloody hell, this must be one hell of a divorce! Are you sure you're not being ripped off?

I have never in my life heard of a divorce costing 80grand.

I really REALLY think you should have a word with some other solicitor - NOT connected with that firm!

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sat 22-Oct-11 19:23:02

x-post - your solicitor is now contacting your parents for money?

Come on. you must know that is just not right. You need to speak to someone.

babybarrister Sat 22-Oct-11 19:28:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catsareevil Sat 22-Oct-11 19:33:00

Do you have anyone that you trust in real life that you could speak to about your concerns?

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sat 22-Oct-11 19:35:34

really? bloody hell. shock

well, I take it back then, maybe she isn't being conned.

80grand. blimey.

VivaLeBeaver Sat 22-Oct-11 19:39:06

Your solicitor should be working for you. So should be coming back to your ex and his solicitor and saying that he's been stupid saying he's scared of you when it's your ex that hit you. He should be ensuring there is equal access at Xmas, etc.

Hope you can get all this resolved soon without it costing a lot more.

ilovesprouts Sat 22-Oct-11 19:39:12

80k shock

pink4ever Sat 22-Oct-11 19:52:10

Bollocks. My dh is a solicitor and I have worked in the law myself. Your solicotir cannot help you with legal aid as it is extremely hard to get for civil matters and certainly for divorce cases. I am sure you were told that at your first appointment.

Your solicitor cannot write to anyone else asking for payment or discussing your case unless you have instructed them to do so. If they have done then contact the appropriate bodies asap and complain ie the law society.

ThinkAdopted Sat 22-Oct-11 19:55:04

your solicitor sounds mental - talk to the SRA immediately.

babybarrister Sat 22-Oct-11 19:55:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HecateGoddessOfTheNight Sat 22-Oct-11 20:00:39

bloody hell. It's shocking, isn't it?


How sad that all that money has to go to lawyers instead of on the children. 80k, that's enough to raise a child from birth to 18! All gone on a divorce sad

I feel really really sorry for the OP and for anyone else who is going through such a messy, horrible divorce that's costing them that much. I am sure the emotional cost is higher still. It's such a shame when someone is put into a situation where they have to have such a costly battle.

I hope it's over for you soon, OP

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 20:21:58

Yes, it is a difficult case, its children and divorce.

Yes it is an absolute pity that its gone on fees and not there for my four year old.

Yes there have been lots of disputes but my solicitor has ignored my evidence from the beginning such as hand written notes and messages, and recordings. Then my solicitor has charged me again and again and even at times denied her own advice.

All my energy was put towards solving family problems making a nice home.

babybarrister Sat 22-Oct-11 20:27:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tanya2011 Sat 22-Oct-11 20:29:34

My energy was towards solving problems and making a nice home. No causing disputes. There were too many problems to sort out for there to be a moment for making dsiputes.

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