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Debt, Divorce & Despair :(

(6 Posts)
Pinkfox Sun 12-Jun-11 21:51:11

Soon to be Ex-H left the family home over 2 years ago. When he left he also left behind a HUGE amount of debt and mess, TBH this was the reason we split up, his lack of financial responsibility was out of control and things were just getting worse.

Due to his credit rating any credit cards were in my name (his bad credit rating should have been enough for me to say no, I cant tell you how stupid and thick I feel even writing this). We had credit cards and couldnt keep up with them, so took out a loan to clear them, then took money out with our mortgage provider, meaning the mortgage is now to the hilt and the house is in negative equity.

This became a cycle and I am now left with 4 credit card debts and a loan, to the total of over £16k (prob more like £20k with fees and charges, etc).

His name is still on the joint mortgage - I have paid the mortgage myself since he left. The house is an issue on its own, as it is in negative equity. I owned my own house for 5 years and sold with a £30k profit which I put into this house, he had a tv and stereo grin

I am now at the point where I cant handle it anymore, the CONSTANT letters, phone calls etc were difficult enough, I have now had visits to my door from debt collectors and this week received court papers which i have to fill in and send back offering a repayment amount. I accept responsibility for my actions and would glady pay back anything I could, BUT as a single mum with two children (under the age of 6), a mortgage and bills to pay, I am at my wits end as I will never be able to pay this back sad

My ex has not helped and wont help, he actually said he will deny he even knew I had credit cards - which angers and saddens me, he is walking round with clear vision thanks to laser eye treatment which was paid for by one of the debts I am now stuck with, he is driving a car which was paid off by the loan money, etc, etc. The debts were amassed due to family/household & martial reasons, I did not have exotic holidays and 3 new cars (I have a car which I bought outright from a policy I held for 10 years).

Basically I NEED to take action NOW, I cannot cope with this any longer, I cant sleep and always feel angry. I just dont know how to start, where to start, what option, IVA or bankruptcy. Right now I cant see any light at the end of this darkening tunnel sad Thanks for reading x

YummyHoney Sun 12-Jun-11 22:04:42

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I'm not a legal expert, but I think you could get your debts written off, as you obviously won't be able to pay them - sorry, I should have said, HIS debts.

Hope someone will come along soon who can offer you some advice.

chickychick Sun 12-Jun-11 22:09:32

What about going to CAB l am in a simular situation and l am doing a Debt Management plan that they helped me set up but they will go through all your options and are very supportive

Pinkfox Sun 12-Jun-11 22:20:34

Thanks for your replies, I have been to CAB numerous times but have found them no help at all. I did do a DMP through CCCS but that just seemed to encourage the companies to contact me even more and I stopped making contact with them. I was only paying £1 a month as a token payment but I need to do something more positive, more realistic.

In one week ive had a debt collector at my door, court papers, a letter from gas & electric saying they are applying for a warrant to put in prepayment meteres as I owe £975 on gas (estimated, its actually £700 now they have correct reading) - but they wanted £180 monthly direct debit payments JUST for Gas, god knows what they want for electric. On top of that my mortgage payment has just gone up £25 a month. Its not been a good week :~

YummyHoney Sun 12-Jun-11 23:22:28

Hang on in there - it will all work out. If you are taken through the court system, all the companies you owe money to will get nothing, because you can't pay what you don't have. So, let them do their worse - surely it will mean all your debts get written off?

clairehaines1 Tue 14-Jun-11 10:41:50

your post sounds so much like my recent situation.

First thing is any of your debt secured on your property except for the extra you took out on your mortgage? I made a huge mistake with my Ex and took our secured loans and have recently had my home repossesed, the local coundil wouldnt help me and i was homeless along with my 6 year old the first thing i would do is ensure you home is safe, and you continue to pay your mortgage above anything else.

With regards to your other unsecured debt, i would say you probably have only a couple of options, go bankrupt this will get your debt written off, however it does have other downsides, i am considering this at the mo as when house was repossesed it was in negative equity so along with other debts we currently owe jointly about 38k shock the other thing you can do is find a company, there are some decent ones about who will do an iva for you, they deal with all contact with creditors so you dont have to but going down this route you will have to pay back something, which i know is hard being a single mum with normal things to pay just to feed your children!

It is hard and scary and i am only just starting this whole process but the way i am looking at it once i have taken the steps that need to be done there will be an ending.

Good luck hun x

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