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Residence order question

(9 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Thu 26-May-11 19:48:39

I have a residence order - what am I meant to do when / if my x doesn't return DD when arranged. He has history of violence.

cestlavielife Fri 27-May-11 11:08:13

what does it say about contact?

mumblechum1 Fri 27-May-11 11:21:29

Initially, assuming he ignores phone calls/texts/emails, the police may be prepared to visit and try to persuade him to bring her back. Often, though, these men will make up some cock and bull story about the mum being a danger and as it isn't a police matter, they won't pursue it. If that happens then you need to make an emergency appln for enforcement.

OnlyWantsOne Sun 29-May-11 08:33:20

Contact order days to be by prior mutual consent.

Gonzo33 Sun 29-May-11 09:15:47

I have a contact order and we have everything on email (mine states similar). That is the only thing I have been doing as I don't trust my exh an inch.

OnlyWantsOne Sun 29-May-11 11:24:38

same!! we do all communication via email

ive asked him what he plans to do with DD, as contact has only really just started, he said he was going to a play centre then walk into town - i said i dont give permission for him to drive her (I know what he's like, i worry he will take her away and not bring her back)

TURNS OUT he put her in his 18 month old kids car seat (my dd is 4 and weighs 3,4 stone) and took her to do his shopping hmm

perfectstorm Sun 29-May-11 13:22:40

I really wouldn't ask him what he plans to do etc. - it's not like you can argue, unless the court order allows you to, because usually parents have the right to do whatever they like (within law and reason) in contact time, and it creates conflict. If he wants to wind you up, that's a perfect method, you know? It might be better for you and your dd if you just disengage and stick to arranging times etc. And there's nothing wrong with taking a child to do the shopping. In fact I'm a bit hmm about parents who leave all the day-to-day to mum and do "glory parenting" only. It's nice to include kids in the routines of life, I think.

The car seat would worry me, though. My own ds' is useable up to that age from 1, so he may also have one that is, but if you're quite certain the car seat he is using is not safe or legal for that age range I would email him requesting that he purchase one that is.

I hope you feel reassured by the fact you can enforce the residence order quite quickly if need be. And if he did do that, I imagine (sure a lawyer will correct me if wrong) that you would be able to argue that a contact centre should be used afterwards, so he couldn't repeat the exercise.

OnlyWantsOne Mon 30-May-11 18:01:15

Does my residence order mean I can take DD on holiday without getting his permission?

Can he take her on holiday without my permission?

prh47bridge Mon 30-May-11 18:39:46

Yes, you can take your daughter out of the country for up to a month without needing his consent. He still needs your consent to take your daughter out of the country.

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