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Help with coping with my 4 DC x

11 replies

butterflymummy · 05/05/2010 20:59

I am finding life all a bit much at the moment. I just can't seem to stop getting really stressed around bath and bed and i end every night (or so it feels) screaming at them all for not helping etc.
I appreciate that 4 DC aged 2,4,7,8 is hard and my DH is away at the moment and has been for 4 mths, but this is not their fault and i am losing it.
I have done so well and kept myself physically fit and eaten properly the whole way through and now over the last week i am just unable to maintain any kind of motivation.
I am considering prozac!!!
Please help x

OP posts:
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DeirdreB · 05/05/2010 22:04

You are doing a great job!! You just need to get over this hump and carry on. How long have you got left on your own?

Try a glass of wine, leaving the house in a mess for this evening and think how you could get out of this.

Could you get a friend (with or without kids)round at the weekend, put the little ones to bed, older ones in front of a DVD on a promise to go to bed quietly when it's over?

Talk to everyone and say why you are stressed and that you need help. Give everyone a job and let them know what you want them to do but plan to get it all done yourself so it's not the end of the world if they don't do it. Use TV, bribes, later bed times to get things out of the stress zone.

We all have days / times like this so chin up!!

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Bonsoir · 05/05/2010 22:06

Can you not bath your youngest or two younger DC in the morning? Bathing four at night must be dreadful.

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MuddlingThru · 05/05/2010 22:12

Do all 4 need bathing every night? Could you do just 2 each night?

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ellenjames · 05/05/2010 22:13

hope ur ok xx

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mrsdisorganised · 05/05/2010 22:26

I have 5dcs, 6months,2,6,8,9. My Dh is away during the week, and I know where you're coming from and take my hat off to you for survivng for the last few months on your own...it's tough! You mustn't beat yourself up about it either, the evening would be the only time you have for 'you time' so totally see why sometimes it's a stress (thats how I feel!). I put baby and 2 year old to bed at 6.30-7pm, the older ones can bath themselves whilst I read and breastfeed the little ones, I am lucky as they usually go to sleep ok. Then I read to the older ones, (if I'm stressed I put on an story cd, lifesavers!!) and they go to bed from 8.30-9.
Generally works ok, but in summer I have decided that it's just not worth stressing myself out chasing them to bed when I know they'll keep coming downstairs saying the can't sleep! Tonight I ignored the fact they were up, tidied kitchen and sat with a magazine whilst they (3 older ones) played and watched a film, dd1 9, came in at 8.45 and asked why I wasn't putting them to bed.....they all went up without a squeak!

Hope tonight wasn't so bad and hope you get a bit of space as it is hard work and completely full on.

DierdreB has good ideas and more clearer than me!! Get that glass of wine!x

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XboxWidow30 · 06/05/2010 13:47

I agree 4 bath times in one night is a nightmare. I have 4 sproglets too and I alternate 2 on one night and 2 on the next, they obviously still have washes but not full on bathtimes, unless needed! If that makes sense.

It must be difficult without your husband there though. Well done, you are doing great. By that time of day it is always quite stressful anyway I find.

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Loopymumsy · 06/05/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

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welshandproud · 06/05/2010 21:27

My hat is well and truely off to you. You are doing a wonderful job basically all alone! I have no such excuse although mine are a little younger, 8 months,21 months 3 and 11. I completely lost the plot today around 5pm. I shouted, slammed doors and threw things in total frustration, anger and tiredness. My poor eldest DD really got it in the neck. I made 2 of my 4 cry by my outburst. DP arrived home shortly afterwards and managed to calm everyone down. I feel like the worst mother in the world and can only hope i manage to do a better job tomorrow.(Just to be clear i didn't throw a child nor anything at a child! Just a few plastic things into the sink and a saucepan into the didshwasher, but yes i probably scared the s**t out of the DC)
I certainly couldn't do it on my own. You really are coping brilliantly in my book!

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bronze · 06/05/2010 21:28

Its not just me who hates bedtime then

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sorky · 07/05/2010 16:13

Blimey!
Mine only get bathed when they're visibly scruffy

In the 70's you got a bath a week (on a Sunday)! Mine probably have a bath 3 times a week. I couldn't do every night, that'd be insane in our house!

You're doing a fabulous job

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fidelma · 13/05/2010 21:46

I bath on a needs basis now.The big ones also love showers.7months 4, 8, 10 years.Sunday often involves a swim and hair wash at the pool.

Bread,fruit and cheese is a good meal and crazy music and everyone tidy up is also a help.

I tend to think that my day is split into 2 heavy work times.6.30am -9am and 3-9pm.That helps me get my head around it.I do lose the plot though, we are only human.

Gin ?

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