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Is it normal to feel like you might want to stop and then change your mind??

(7 Posts)
minkersmum Thu 05-Feb-09 23:28:51

I have always hoped for 4 or 5 kids.
I have 3 at the moment 4, 2 and 4 months. After the first 2 i knew id def try again and did quickly after my 2nd then had m/c but went on to have my lo that is currently just 4 months. But for the first time ever i keep thinking maybe we'll stop with 3 and i'm so torn.

Things that make me think enough is sleep deprivation (all my babies want a breast in their mouths constantly between midnight and dawn) and feeling like i never get to give them my time, you know one to one, reading a story, doing a jigsaw, feel like i'm constantly juggling. Money too, it can only get more expensive right?

But i love them so much, i can't imagine never having a newborn again, lying with this wee tiny tootie on my chest... brings tears to my eyes. BUT so did the last pregnancy, it was longer and more tiring than previous 2 and babies getting bigger too, shoulders tighter... also found out at my post natal check i had group b strep. Wasn't tested in preg but i know id worry if had another. Last one was a lovely quick homebirth. I almost feel like i might be pushing my luck having another.

Did anyone else feel like this then have more?? I'm thinking it may just be early days and sleep deprivation! Do those of you with 4+ find they have enough time to really give all the kids individual attention?? I really find that hard even with 3sad

Madmentalbint Fri 06-Feb-09 07:23:14

I'm not suprised you're feeling like you've got enough on your plate just now. You've got a very young baby as well as a toddler and a pre-schooler. The tricky times soon pass though and as things get easier you might find your thoughts turning to increasing your family again. Then again - you might not. There is no rush to decide now so I'd wait and see how you feel in a couple of years time.

As for giving all the children enough attention, yes, I feel I do (I have four). There are times when it's more difficult but they all seem happy and love our family life. They've got each other too which I think counts for alot.

I'm sure you're doing a great job with your children and so don't beat yourself up. The juggling will become less of a challenge as your baby grows so just try and enjoy the babyhood while you can.

Nemoandthefishes Fri 06-Feb-09 07:57:02

I felt like that until I found out I was pregnant with no.4 Am now 21 wks with another DD on the way and I have a DS who is 5,DD1[3] and DD2[2]. It is tiring but I can also see the benefits to it all. I always wanted 4 or 5 and this will definetly be the last one....I thinkgrin

minkersmum Fri 06-Feb-09 10:16:54

Well my little one woke (again) at 4.55am and felt it was time to get up. And just to get the story right she wasn't sleeping soundly from 7pm or anything, quite the opposite, she was in bed from 8.30 and fed at least every couple of hours until 4.55, probably had so much milk and then needs to poo. Its nights like this that make me also think we might stop with 3. How do you ladies with more kids survive the sleep deprivation??

When my other 2 appear in the bedroom at 8am it takes all i have to get myself out of bed.

Madmentalbint Fri 06-Feb-09 10:29:51

I must admit that I was lucky and all mine have been good sleepers. The amount of sleep you get makes a huuuuuge difference to everything. If youve had a good nights sleep you can cope with pretty much anything. I don't function well without enough sleep either. On the days when I hadn't slept much I'd just have quiet days at home, and lay on the sofa as much as possible, and get a takeaway grin Don't try and do too much. A few weeks time and things will have changed again and your youngest may be sleeping soundly for a few hours through the night.

Nemoandthefishes Fri 06-Feb-09 20:02:12

my 2 and 3 yr olds just started sleeping through last month..ds didnt sleep through until month before he was 4. So now I have been getting a full nights sleep for 4wks and am actualyl feelign a lot worse for it...

darydork Sun 02-Aug-09 14:41:25

Hi, i have a ds 7, dd1 6, dd2 20mths and i can totally relate to thinking you were finished your family & then getting broody and wanting to go again. my ds didnt sleep till he was gone 4 and ds2 has only started to sleep the last few mths so i think im getting broody cause im finally getting some decent sleep & feeling normal again, plus dd2 is getting so big and im longing for a newborn again, dh is keen for another aswell but ive nagging worrys that i will loose the plot with 4, the youngest is a little doll but my worry is the older 2s constant bikkering with each other, i know sibling rivalary is totally normal but its really getting to me and makes me wonder if i would have the patience to deal with it aswell as a newborn and a toddler, any advice/

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