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should we try for number 3??

(17 Posts)
toobusytothink Tue 28-Oct-08 11:26:05

We have 2 dc, ds just turned 3 and dd 1.8 so only 16 months apart. We presumed that was it but neither of us really know why. I am one of 4 and loved it. I always wanted a large family but have a few reservations.

Would love to hear from those of you who have 3 or more dc to tell me how great it is.

Am I living in fantasy world to think it will be great to have a house full of noise and laughter etc?

Main concern is that newborns do tend to put pressure on relationships with dh and I wouldn't want to risk testing our relationship.

Would also rule out private school but am thinking it would be worth it??

CDMforever Tue 28-Oct-08 20:42:06

We had DC no. 3 about 10 weeks ago and it's been really wonderful (so far!). I have moments when I look at my 3 and am so grateful and happy. Having said that, there is a 9 year gap between DS1 and DS2 so that does help. The only thing I find quite difficult is allocating enough attention to my eldest. He is going to be starting high school next year and I already find trying to give him time with his homework tricky. If he ever gives me the "what-about-me" look or speech, I do remind him that he had me to himself for 9 years. Doesn't really help!

omeNofthefleshes Tue 28-Oct-08 20:45:56

We have 3 and am about 8wks pregnant with no.4.
Ds is 5,dd1 is 2.10yrs and dd2 is 22mths. I love it but it is hard and would possibly drive someone else insane. Ther eis little to no time for yourself especially with them being young as nobody offers to mind them for you. However there are many pros especially as they are all growing up and I know they will adore having a new memeber to the family as ds is always asking for another baby.

omeNofthefleshes Tue 28-Oct-08 20:47:51

oh and the house is full of noise and laughter but there is also just as much fighting and shouting of 'thats mine''let go' etc.However they are positively angelic when we are out and people always comment on how lovely they arehmm

By the way am typing this as Dh is upstairs trying to get the dds to go to sleepgrin you have been

Sidge Tue 28-Oct-08 20:50:53

I have 3 girls and love it. They drive me bananas sometimes, childcare is costly, babysitters are brave hard to find and we don't get much couple time but I wouldn't have it any other way. Having said that mine are quite spread out, they are nearly 10, 4.8 and 2. I didn't fancy having mine really close together.

I would have liked 4 but it wasn't an option, so will have to settle with 3 grin

MinkyBorage Tue 28-Oct-08 20:54:31

I'm pg with dc3 atm, due in March when dd1 will be 3.5 and dd2 will be 2.2 (14 months between them). I have no idea how hard it's going to be, but I'm expecting the worst, but i amd so so delighted to be pg, and before hand couldn't decide for definite. Just go for it, it's the only way you'll find out, and you'll keep toying with the idea of having more until you've done it.

bambi06 Tue 28-Oct-08 20:56:34

love it but hard work and i sometimes feel guilty that the older two are missing out but they absolutley dote on him and will do anything for him even though hes a little terror.i thought the third would just slot in and be easy..hah..hes a whirlwind of miscief..the other two were you never know what you`ll getgrin

Lilyloo Tue 28-Oct-08 21:00:31

I have found going from 2-3 harder than i thought.
Feel like i don't have enough individual time for the older two.
Can see now that dd2 (no 3) is going to be spoilt by us all!
But wouldn't change it is more chaotic , noisier , busier , less time for me and dp and less money but the benefits far outweigh any of that imo!
Mine have 3 years between each of them 6 , 3 , 9mths!

aGalChangedHerName Tue 28-Oct-08 21:01:44

I had two ds's who were 13 and 9 and we had 2 dd's who are 4 and 2.

I love it 99% of the time. DH had the snip when dd2 was 4 months old or we would have gone on and on. Financially we had to draw a halt.

DH did not do the tests after he had the snip. Secretly if i fell pg again we would both be over the moon i think sad

4andnotout Tue 28-Oct-08 21:02:18

I had dd4 5 days ago and it is wonderful having 4 (so far!) Mine are relatively close together, 6,3,13months,5 days but i wanted to have them close as there is a small gap between myself and my siblings and i feel we are close as a result.
Lucky for us we live very close to both sets of parents and i have 2 sets of grandparents who visit weekly to see us so although we rarely have them babysat, we have a lot of extended family occasions where they can be passed about and it gives us bit of a break!
Im definately having next year off of pregnancy though wink it will be my gap year to decide if i want dc5 or not.....

aGalChangedHerName Tue 28-Oct-08 21:16:57

My ds's are now 17 and 13 so they do help out loads with the dd's. My eldest babysits as often as we need him to and is a great big db. My youngest is good at playing with play doh and reading bedtime stories too.

toobusytothink Wed 29-Oct-08 08:51:02

Thanks for all your messages.
It is the financial situation I guess that is the biggest factor. Are we being selfish in having more kids? It would mean state rather than private school (although our local state is very good so guess I have just answered that one myself). Holidaying in the UK rather than skiing etc (again I love Uk hols). Poss getting new car. Kids will have to share bedrooms as would not want to move. But think these are dh's concerns more than mine as I think it would be worth it in the long run.

The lack of time with dh would concern me. He leaves at 6:30 am and gets back 7:30 pm so I would have to do all the childcare, but then I would see it as my job (that I loved).

Ho hum. Maybe just leave it to fate. If I think about it too much I'll probably chicken out

bambi06 Thu 30-Oct-08 08:38:49

my dh also works long hours and usually doesnt get back till 8pm ish so i have to do the dreaded bedtime on my own..thats the worst time really.especially when they are tiny and don t sleep and want to feed all eves!!i remember bathing my two with my third in the sling..he just wouldnt worked though and thank god for slings!!

amanda12 Thu 30-Oct-08 13:10:09

I have 3 dc who are 5, 4 and 2 we live in a state of chaos all the time and they fight (all boys) but i wouldn't have it any other way as they are the most loving, happy and kind children i know. Yes the house is a mess most the time and they eat and eat but they are fantastic. It is hard but as long as u are organised it's fine. We are contemplating having a 4th as 3 just seems odd. That will be it though.

interflora Sun 02-Nov-08 15:16:27

We have seven, between the ages of 8 months and almost 8 years, and would welcome many more.

We have four dd's and three ds's atm, ttc #9.

We both wanted a very large family and thankfully we've been blessed with seven gorgeous and well-behaved dc (apart from obvious squabbles and sibling rivalry - few and far between so far anyway) hoping we'll be blessed with many more.

Up to you how many kiddies you feel you can cope with of course.

If you and dh can sit down on a typical day where your dc behave as they normally do, maybe that will provide the answer you seek.

Judy1234 Sun 02-Nov-08 15:56:29

We have 5 between 10 and 24. It's wonderful.The older ones help with the younger. The older have lots of experience with small children.There are countless babysitters. it's a wonderful way to live.

BananaSkin Sun 02-Nov-08 19:19:55

We drew up a list of pros and cons for DS3. The 'con' list was all the usual: not enough space, not enough time, no private schooling etc.

Then I asked DH if he would like to see three little people running around the house instead of two and that was it - decision made.

We also decided that if we won the lottery/lost all our money another day, it was something we would have so regretted not doing.

I love having three. It does seem more chaotic and noisy (disproportionately so), which is what we wanted.

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