Bigger gap/summer born

[Chaosonthehorizon]

We are ttc 3 and first two are autumn born 2 years apart, littlest is almost 3 so bigger gap already than I would prefer. Am worried about a big gap between 2 and 3, DH not keen on a four year gap and also I worry about a summer born. What would you do? June baby (or July/aug) or 4 year gap. TTC not being as easy as before! Thanks

[PotteringAlong]

June baby. You save a whole year of nursery fees by them starting school just after they turn 4...!

[ALoadOfTwaddle]

June baby. You can't predict these things anyway- a friend of mine gave birth to her planned October born this July.

You also have the right to start them at compulsory school age (5) and can request they be put into the year below, though they don't necessarily have to grant that request at present. Legislative change is afoot. Things might be different by the time yours is old enough for school.

Do also read up on middle children though- you've really got to be on the ball to make sure that your current youngest isn't adversely affected.

[Chaosonthehorizon]

ALoadofTwaddle - thanks worries me too, any tips?! Current youngest is a girl and think could be a problem.

Good point about an autumn arriving early, my middle sis did has forgotten!

[ALoadOfTwaddle]

You save a whole year of nursery fees by them starting school just after they turn 4...!

The opposite, surely? A summer born gets its 15/30 hours of nursery funding for only three terms as opposed to five terms for an autumn born.

[PotteringAlong]

True. But my September baby starts school on Monday and the funding didn’t cover half of his full time nursery fees. I’d would have been much better off if he had gone to school last year!

[Chaosonthehorizon]

It is the emotional and social aspect of being so young that bothers me.

[ALoadOfTwaddle]

There's a Facebook group called 'flexible school admissions for summerborn children' that you could look at. They'd know how likely your local authority would be to let you delay their start.

I agree, it's ridiculous how young we start them in this country. Scotland is so much better in that regard!

WRT middle children I'm afraid I don't have many tips beyond making sure your yougest doesn't lose out on attention, particularly if baby 3 were also a girl.

[EverythingNow]

I had 2 autumn born and 1 Easter baby. Dc4 arrived in August, and is 8yrs younger than number 3.
Took a long time to agree to ttc and then 19m to conceive so I'd say just keep going!

[Chaosonthehorizon]

EverythingNow thanks, anything to add on summer borns and age gaps?

[Kim82]

All 4 of my dc are summer born (2 in late July, 2 in August). There are 3 years between each of the elder 3 and then a 7 year gap between number 3 and number 4. No problems with age gaps or coping with school as one of the youngest in the year. They’ve all done really well at school, settled in quickly, didn’t struggle with the work and made friends easily. The only issue we had was with ds (my eldest). He did 2 years in reception class as they didn’t think he was mature enough for year 1 and would have struggled. He did the year 1 work in a reception setting then went up to year 2. Did him the world of good and he had no problems after that.

[ALoadOfTwaddle]

Bare in mind, op, that the national curriculum changed in 2014 and, with the advent of the reception baseline test, phonics screen and other statutory testing, school nowadays is a totally different beast for young children than it was a decade or more ago. Lots of people who had good experiences will have put kids through under the old curriculum.

[Kim82]

That’s true Twaddle, my eldest is 18 now so I don’t know if they would keep him in reception for two years if he joined school now. Having said that though, my youngest is only 5 and just gone into year 1 and she’s had no issues either, she’s loving school and doing really well.

[ALoadOfTwaddle]

That's great Kim, a lot does depend on your school. I've seen them put into ability sets for English in year one and no matter how they do it, the kids always seem to know when they're in a lower ability set. Really knocks their confidence and enthusiasm for the subject. Some schools still manage to keep a lot of it play-based, though in principle I still think five is too young for formal full-time education.

[Hannahlouise4026]

I have 4.5 years between 2&3 and honestly love this gap. My middle dd just stared school and so have lots of one on one time with baby (6m)
I’m in Scotland and our school entry system is completely different (28feb is cut off my you can choose to defer and automatically get nursery funding for another year from 1stjan) but my first two were autumn babies and 3rd spring and I’ve found it much easier having a baby in the warmer weather 😊