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Third child? Yes or no?

(10 Posts)
kennycat Fri 17-Feb-17 21:33:00

I'm I n a real quandary over this.
I feel like I absolutely do want a third child. Even as a child my imaginary future family had three children. After my cond was born I felt like ewe week completefamilythen out of the blue it hit me this summer that i really want a third.
Husband not keen at all on the idea. Various sensible reasons, and also the fact he's worried I'll turn into a moody old hag once it's born again.
He did give in though and has said if I really want it we can go for it.

I needed fertility treatment (clomid) to conceive both of my children so if we do it it's going to be a tough slog again. I'm in the referral system again and heard today that it will be at least another ten weeks, added to the eight I've already waited since gp appointment.
Every time I mention what new hospital delay has happened husband says ' well we could just knock the idea on the head then'

Basically, who should get their way?? I want another, he doesn't. How do you get through this?!

Ideas. Please.

rainingkitsandpups Fri 17-Feb-17 21:35:47

How old are the other two?

We went for a third. I wish we hadn't. Sounds shit writing that down but life would be easier with 2. Holidays and clubs and activities. Juggling help with homework and meals out.

It'd be easier. But I was desperate for a third and DH finally caved. If he hadn't I'd have been so bitter I'm sure and always wondered "what if"

Now I do find myself day dreaming about how easy 2 would have been. Mine are all under 5 tho.

tessiebear4 Fri 17-Feb-17 21:39:43

I've got 3, and I love it. You've got the really want it though. Hard work etc. But I have quite a nice age gap and I find the 3 of them at the ages they are now much easier than 2 when made up of toddler + baby iyswim

SuperBeagle Fri 17-Feb-17 21:44:16

I think that when there are already children involved, the person who doesn't want another is the person who should get "their way". So, I'd be on your husband's side in this discussion.

kennycat Sat 18-Feb-17 09:09:04

My other two are two and four. I'm a bit worried that part of the reason I want another is because I can't. It's a pretty shitty feeling when your body won't naturally do what it was put on the earth to do isn't it?!

And my very good friend has fallen pregnant by accident and she is giving me a blow by blow account of each and every health problem she is having related to pregnancy.
I want to scream at her to shut up but I keep that inside.

Anyway, that's a bit off topic.

wineusuallyhelps Sat 18-Feb-17 10:15:47

I'm certain my life would be easier if I'd stuck to two!

But my third is a real delight. The easiest child ever and I adore him, just as much the others.

My DH can occasionally be heard mumbling at times of stress, "we had one too many!" though, even though he loves no 3 to death! grin

I do feel complete having three, as that's what I always wanted. But it is hard work at the same time!

Wishiwasmoiradingle2017 Sat 18-Feb-17 10:18:54

I am sure life was quieter /wealthier /more organised when i only had 2. . .
I have 11 now and those days are but a distant memory. . .
But I have never for a minute wish my life was different. .

Kennington Sat 18-Feb-17 10:20:21

Can you look at it from your kids perspective rather than yours: will they all get attention, and financially will they be restricted in any way?
I don't know if that helps but it might provide another perspective.
If you have done a great job of the two you have then I would say go for it.

Chocolatebuttons12 Sat 18-Feb-17 10:25:05

I think it's easy to say your life would be easier with one less. I have two and I also think "my life would have been easier if I stuck with one". I find two anstruggle so I know I don't want anymore.

If you both want three then I think why not. But I think you DH has to be equally on board too.

NennyNooNoo Sat 18-Feb-17 10:35:53

I'm guessing this newly found broodiness is to do with your friend. I can't advise you one way or another but have you got a big enough house / car / can you afford it?

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