would you try for third baby in this instance..?

[imgoingtoatown]

not sure if this is a question quite for this thread.

DP and I have 2 DS, 4.6yo and 2.3yo. I conceived through IVF, and we have one embryo in storage from when I got pregnant with DS2.

We've been paying to have the embryo stored for the past couple of years, and it's due for renewal this month.

Maybe because of this, I've recently become obsessed with the idea of a third baby. I know - from reading threads on this board! - how hard it can be and I really don't know if it would be best for our family (DP says no but agrees with the dilemma we're in) BUT the question remains - what do we do with the embryo??

I don't think of the embryo as a baby, and when I think rationally about it, I have no philosophical/moral problem with destroying it - BUT, having had two children, its hard not to think about the POTENTIAL of the new baby it could become.

Friends have told us things like "well of course you have to at least try to have a third and use the embryo!" and in my most emotional moments I see it as possibly someone who was meant to join our family and hasn't yet, and we're finding it increasingly hard to imagine being able to make a decision - either way - but specifically to get rid of it.

DP suggested paying for it to be stored indefinitely and soon enough I'll be too old anyway! I'll be 40 in the autumn.

Ultimately, if there wasn't an embryo, I probably wouldn't even be thinking about a third. But, it does exist..!

Anyway, was just curious about general thought and if anyone had been through something similar and how they came to a decision?

[FantasticOwls]

Gosh, that is difficult. I don't have anything similar to share but I understand where you're coming from.

If you didn't have an embryo stored would you even consider a third? How would you feel when/if the embryo was destroyed?

You could always try flipping a coin and seeing what your reaction was if it landed on 'try for a third' or the other option. Your immediate reaction is often a good teller of your real feelings.

[Jenniferb21]

My feeling would be to try and if it isn't successful it wasn't meant to be. I would too be thinking it could be another family member.

However having 3 children requires a large car, house etc. holidays are more costly as well as the usual family outings where a family of 4 get discounts etc. It really depends on your practical circumstances and whether it mAkes sense for you financially too. Also do you work? Do you want to be off work again? All these sorts of questions would need to be thought about xx

[Ilovecaindingle]

My friend was in similar position - 1 dd by Ivf. Twin ds Ivf, then left with 5 embryos in the freezer. . On holiday it occurred to her storage was nearly up. . Made the decision to try again or she would always have wondered if she was meant to have more kids. . . Only 1 survived thawing and she did indeed have another dd!! Good luck. .

[yaela123]

You could always try flipping a coin and seeing what your reaction was if it landed on 'try for a third' or the other option. Your immediate reaction is often a good teller of your real feelings.

Yes, this is a good idea

[LovesRadleyBags]

Just throwing a curve ball into the mix - have you thought about donating it????? Good luck in your decision. X