Giant unexpected broodiness for number 3 out of the blue(8 Posts)
I really thought I was done. Have DS aged 7 and DD aged 6. They were a small gap and it was hard going but they're so independent and lovely now. Life is much easier and actually really enjoyable. I laughingly gave away or sold all of my baby and toddler gear. And me and my DH have been very happy with our choice to stop there. I have a full on job part time but lots of time to myself while the other two are at school and often see other mums of small kids or babies and reminisce over how hard/tiring/mind numbingly dull it was at times...
But then I had a lovely long cuddle with my friends new third baby last week. And my ovaries were screaming at me! Felt a giant rush of love and remembered how it felt. And am really confused as that has persisted. Is this me facing my biological clock aged 39? It's a real now or never thing and not sure what to do with these feelings. I know I shouldn't rush anything and need to have long chats with my DH.
When I had my two I had always wanted three but now life is easier that doesn't seem as much of a burden.
I don't know what I'm asking! I guess just general advice over how to approach these feelings and how long to mull it over. And also the age gap would be big- at least 7 years. How have others found that?
I think having a cuddle with a new born will always do that (to most people). Try to remember why you were happy to stop and have such a big break, because it's hard work!
I have a 5 yo and 7 mo and know know know l don't want any more. Except when l sometimes think being pregnant and doing it again wouldn't be so bad
No help l know
Furry, its your hormones. Your ovaries are gearing up to shoot out eggs at every opportunity.
I'd be careful of toilet seats, you are probably uber fertile right now
Seriously, you are already in your perimenopause as you are over 35. Quitting when you're ahead is not losing.....
If you do decide to go ahead with a pregnancy take twice the amount of folic acid as your gut becomes less absorptive as you age, and with age related egg and sperm deficiencies your chance of having a baby with abnormalities is much much higher, so said my GP, with charts.
Try and do what you can to ameliorate that by upping your dose of folic acid, multi minerals and vitamins, and your DH too. Think of yourself at 70 pushing a wheelchair, being a career. Of course it's not all doom and gloom, but the chances of it being so are much much higher than if you were broody at 32 when you were last pregnant.
My GP is old school and practical, but she had her kids early, and knows the cost in maternal health of having even healthy kids late.
I'd get a puppy or a kitten. It worked for me, and the feelings passed.
My advice is to Sit tight.
I'm 44, with a 9yo ds1, 7yo dd and 18mo ds2 (MMC between dc2&3, thus a larger gap, and older me than Id hoped for). (I did get referred to as ds2's grandmother yesterday didn't realise I looked that bad!!!)
My yearning for no.3 never went away, although I always felt I wanted 3, so it didn't creep up on me. It's very hard juggling such differing demands but I wouldn't change things for the world (apart from wish I was younger so I could try for no.4 )
I had my third at almost 40. Easiest pregnancy and birth. Healthy gorgeous baby.
Pluses. He's adorable, he makes us all laugh. We are very chilled out parents now. Older kids delighted with him (6 & 3.5). I've truly enjoyed and treasured the baby stage. All three are developing lovely bonds and my middle has thrived as a big brother. Older ones have to become independent.
Minuses. Very tough to go back to the sleepless nights, restrictions on social life, now following a toddler round constantly. There is no down time, yet, hopefully it will come when he is 2 or 3. 6 now 7 year old has missed out on support with reading etc but that's getting easier now. Taking all 3 out is a major mission. Even if you offload one or two kids you've still got one or two! Bloody expensive.
I'm glad we have three, it's noisy, busy but fun. I do look longingly 2 kid families sometimes though, it's just simpler. I absolutely do not want and could not cope with another pregnancy/newborn but still I get broody when cuddle small babies. It's the hormones!
I had that feeling regarding no.4 and got a puppy thinking it would help. 2 dogs later and now I'm expecting no.4. The age gap will be around 4 1/2 years. I'd say speak to your DH and if it's something you really want go for it.
I think you will always find a way of making it work, I too have a full on PT job and have just finished a diploma through work although the housework did suffer abit towards the end of me trying to get it finished but I got their in the end
Thanks all- DH laughed(kindly) and said he can think of anything he'd like less than another baby! I'm mulling that response over but am fairly clear that for the last few years we've been very happy and wondering whether my body is playing tricks with me.
IT is playing tricks on your Furby. Listen to your DH, he has quite a say
Just because you could doesn't mean you should!
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