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competitive sister, help!

(3 Posts)
user1456259671 Tue 23-Feb-16 21:08:08

Please help, I am looking for some advice on how to deal with my sister who is always very competitive and feels the need to always compare our children.
I recently feel that it has got to the point where relationships are strained.
I was a young mum and I feel that she expected me to fail. I feel she finds it hard to see that I have managed to get my degree, work and stay with my children's father. She has a very volatile relationship with her husband and choosing not to go back to work they struggle finically. She always feels the need to compare how much money I have compared to her and seems to like the sympathy vote. She always finds ways to put me down and compare what her children are doing developmentally compared to mine. It has got so bad recently I try to avoid family gatherings if she is going to be around, as I worry I am just going to explode one day.
Sorry for the long post I just felt like I needed to get it if my chest.

MisForMumNotMaid Tue 23-Feb-16 21:18:56

Sibling rivalry is tough. My sis and I suffer with each other in a similar fashion. Sometimes it blows up.

My most sucessful technique is a recent trial of love bombing her. I love my childrens cousins and so if she boasts I join in saying how proud I am to be their aunt. If she says something negative about one of mine I ignore and talk about things I love in her DC. It cuts her dead and leaves her no where to go.

Essentially I think it all comes from insecurity, and no doubt any negative reaction I make also comes from my own insecurities. If I can make her feel more secure by boosting her, she doesn't need to boost herself by stomping on me. If the barriers lower the snidy comments reduce and everyone is happier. At the last family get together it only took about ten minutes to get onto neutral territory and break the constant competition.

user1456259671 Tue 23-Feb-16 22:00:53

Thank you for the advice.

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