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Why can't I stop wanting a 4th?!!

(7 Posts)
babyblabber Sun 17-Jan-16 15:36:57

So I've been obsessing over this since having number 3 a year ago. Going back and forth (and on bad days thinking I must have been insane to even contemplate another!).

Logically, 3 is perfect. Some of the madness and fun of a big family but still manageable, not much worse that 2 at all. We have a bedroom for everyone (when they're bigger, DS & DD1 share now) and we won't be moving so wouldn't if we had another. We can just about afford holidays and hopefully schools for secondary (in Ireland so about 6k a year per child). We have a boy and two girls which I love the balance of. We have finished sleepless nights pretty much apart from the odd illness. I can manage bringing the 3 of them to the shops or the park or wherever by myself. Think this would be impossible with 4. My mum can mind them occasionally, again not really if we had 4. I can manage one extra if DS wants someone over for a play date. After school and weekend activities are getting busier as they get older.

Everything and I mean everything points to stopping at 3. Except me! Why can't I stop it?!!!!!

lorisparkle Sun 17-Jan-16 20:44:31

I know that feeling!!! Once each of my DS got to a year old I had a really strong desire to have another baby. This was fine with DS1,2,3 but logistically I knew that DC4 was just not practical. We do not have the time, money, or space for another DC but that feeling was just so strong. This time I did manage to ignore it but it took until DS3 started school for it to really go away and even now I would have another in a heartbeat if we won the lottery! No real help sorry just wanted to say that it isn't just you!

Surf25 Mon 18-Jan-16 22:48:49

I could have written this post op! Dc3 just turned one and every day I find myself thinking about the potential pros and cons of ttc no 4. I don't know what to do!

Toffeewhirl Mon 18-Jan-16 22:56:19

I really wanted a third as soon as I had my second, but then my DH lost his job and there was no question of us affording another one. The feeling was really strong, but it has faded over time and I'm very happy with two. I'm sure it was my hormones.

NaoimhC Tue 26-Jan-16 21:40:08

I'm in the same boat and joined mumsnet for advice on this very topic!! 😊 I've 2 boys and a girl 9,6&4, I've been back and forth for a while over number 4 because of C sections and a week in nicu with no 3. My hubby says no but I did tell him that I wanted another before I hit 40. (I'm 36). My doctors all said that a fourth would be ok. Some days I'm happy with 3 and others I desperately want another. (My sister in law having her 3rd yesterday is not helping, lol!!) Money is tight but we'd make it work.

Babbyblabber, have you made a decision yet??

Part of me is thinking remove the coil, say nothing and act surprised!! But all the others were planned and we've always been so honest about things.

I'd love to know what you decided.

babyblabber Wed 27-Jan-16 18:24:41

I've put the decision on hold for a few months! I was thinking I'd like to do it sooner rather later if we did go for it so was in a mad rush to decide but have come to the conclusion there is no massive rush. DD2 has only just turned one. I'm 37 so not you but I can wait a few months. I'd like to avoid having a baby in November-Jan for various reasons which I would if I got pregnant in the next few months, so going to think about it for a bit longer.

I think, given the amount I've thought about it and talked about it, we probably will go for it but who knows?! My whole problem
Is I have moments where I'm certain I don't want another and moments in certain I do!

babyblabber Wed 27-Jan-16 18:26:02

*not young that should say!

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